Poppy Cedes

I am so sad and devastated and mourning the loss of a boy who would be my family if things were different.

Three years later just means it’s the fourth year in a row that I’ve cried until my heart couldn’t take it anymore.

So selfish to love a boy who never knew I existed.

Love you, Puppy. So much.

I got iLife ’09 this weekend, but haven’t had a chance to install it. If I did I’d be recording a video and you’d be watching it. Instead you get a recap with words! You like those better anyway. Moving Picture Poppy isn’t as exciting as Pretends to be Literate Poppy. I’m aware.

So, yah, about the weekend… I wouldn’t call this a recap because (see disclaimer at the end), but I will be filling in some blanks to decrypt part of what I said before.

Friday night I went with Dawg to The Steff and Donkey’s wedding rehearsal and the dinner that followed it. I’d say the rehearsal went off without a hitch, and dinner was mostly ok.

The next day I got Dawg to Donkey’s house for 1:30pm so he could go with the guys in the limo in their monkey suits. I then rushed home, got dressed, and rushed back out to the church. When I got there I gave Donkey a kiss on the cheek and a “good luck” in his ear then sat with the only person I knew who wasn’t in that damn honking huge wedding party who was there at the moment: KC. I tried my best to take photos during the ceremony but I was too far back and the lighting was bad for that camera (shrug) so I took video of the event instead. Got Steff walking down the aisle, got Donkey and Steff saying their vows, got them kissing and walking away as husband and wife. On the way out the door we got bubbles!

After the nuptials Dawg went in the limo to the reception hall and I went home to eat ice cream and chill until it was actually time to be there for the por-tee then drove out to a castle in the middle of Long Island. When I got there I switched into my impossibly crazy-high almost stiletto boots and walked in the door. There were many highlights to that evening, but I have to vote hands down for the slow dances with Dawg. The world around me did not exist while we danced in small, slow circles. I would look into his eyes and feel such intense feelings for him that I would eventually have to look down and put my forehead against his with my eyes closed. If I’m ever in doubt of his love for me I think all he has to do is ask me to dance…

Yes, yes, YES, Poppy, get ON with it.

Spectacular food, great company, very good fountain soda Coke, piss-poor bathroom arrangements (bwahaha! anyway, who puts bathrooms UPstairs from the main ballroom [inside of which is the bar {at which people get dRunK}], where the stairs are made out of marble and are very slippery?!), a sufficient amount of drama, and the very best wedding favor I have received in my entire life:

That’s the “if I can’t have you NO ONE CAN!” murder knife for LOVErs. Or a cheese knife, whichever you prefer to think it as.

The next day I woke up before the alarm and cleaned the bathroom, put the laundry together, took a shower, then we went out to run errands and had a little breakfast at Georgia Diner before heading to the cemetery with Dawg’s mom, dad, and brother and Pudding, Pudding’s Other Half, and The Wolves. We did our thing for Baby Boy, gave each other hugs, said goodbye to Dawg’s brother who had to head home, then the rest of us headed to our next destination.

Can’t have 10 people get together but have no food, so we all went to The Sizzler. I don’t even have any idea what it’s like for the rest of the world when we all walk through a door. I can only imagine it’s a combination of annoyance plus pure amusement. We’re so loud and in the way and indecisive and jovial but keep-the-fuck-outta-our-bidniss. I just love being part of that group. And at dinner Pudding invited both me and Dawg’s mom to a sex party on March 22. If I bring a friend I get a free gift! Sooooo, Rachel and Robin, I am officially inviting you. Wanna go to Jersey for a “slumber party”? As Pudding’s Other Half put it, we’ll all be dressed in sexy lingerie, having a pillow fight. Should be HAWT. Oh, and the woman brings three gigantic suitcases with her so you most likely get to take your purchases home with you the same day.

After lunch-dinner it was home again. I put down a package I had foolishly opened earlier and the first thing Georgie did was stick her nose in it and yank a cat nip mousie that Aunt Frankie gave her (and the other girls, *ahem*) for being such good NYC kitties. Here’s Georgie playing with her mousie:

A catnap then BSG and Dollhouse while snuggling on the couch rounded out the weekend.

And now it’s Monday and today is show 3 of Lick. Slam. Suck. Please listen live at 8pm Eastern as we discuss something we hadn’t actually previously planned to discuss but are now due to some concern from the TequilaCon crowd: Lodging!

Disclaimer: This represents about 37.5% of the weekend’s notable moments. The rest of the notable moments are in the vault where they are to remain. Anything not mentioned in this post was intentionally omitted. Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day. Doesn’t mean other people can’t tell The Rest of the Story.

Ditto.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words Friday night and yesterday. I know DJ is not my son, but I care an awful lot about his dad and I will always have a very special place in my heart for that kiddo. Thank you to everyone who remembered.

In classic Poppy fashion, I’m completely changing the subject to encourage you to go to Squishable.com and buy huge stuffed animals for your loved ones. Yes, they’re expensive, but it’s because they’re human-sized!

And in the randomest feat of all, I will now do a meme that I stole from Tori:

1. Father went to college?
No. Although, ironically, he worked for one for 35 years.

2. Father finished college?
See 1.

3. Mother went to college?
She has taken some classes in her mature life, but did not go during the traditional after-high-school years.

4. Mother finished college?
Nope! She don’t need no stinkin’ college, I assure you, but she’ll probably finish one day so she can start writing books. She’s a writer who has no time to write.

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor?
My great uncle was a pathologist. He is slightly famous here, but is no longer living.

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers?
Huh? I read Tori’s answer, so I guess this is supposed to be about social/economic standing, but it’s still a weird question.

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home?
Way more.

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home?
Yes, that makes more sense.

9. Were read children’s books by a parent?
Not so much…

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18?
No.

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18?
See 10. Oh, wait! I had gymnastics for like half a minute when I was 8. Totally doesn’t count.

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
This is a weird question to me. I don’t even know how to answer it.

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18?
No.

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs?
I went to college via tuition remission ($0 for classes) because my father worked at the university. I walked out of college debt free.

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs?
My mom gave me some money for books, I had to pay the rest of the fees associated with college that weren’t class. (Room, board, lab fees, rest of book money.)

16. Went to a private high school?
Uh, heh, NO.

17. Went to summer camp?
I went to religious camp for seven Memorial Day weekends in my youth, but to clean the camp up for the paying customers. Those were fun times… How did I go to that camp for seven years of my life but don’t remember what it’s called or where exactly in New York I was? Hmm.

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18?
A private one? I had an algebra tutor in 8th grade because I was sick so much that year I didn’t even get to master negative numbers before the final exam, but it was done at school during my study period.

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels?
Yes, when we weren’t camping.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18?
I don’t recall. Didn’t have an older sister for hand-me-downs, but I can’t promise that none of my clothes were from thrift stores.

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them?
No. I did have their hand-me-downs from age 17-22.

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child?
No.

23. You and your family lived in a single family house?
From age 6-8 I lived in a house with Mom, her boyfriend, and one of his four sons. From age 11-15 I lived in a house with Mom, my maternal grandmother, and my maternal uncle. So, yes to single family house, but never in a traditional sense. When I was 17 I moved into a brand new condo with my mom and new stepdad. I lasted two years before going absolutely insane and needing to move out despite not quite making enough money to support living away from home.

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home?
See 23.

25. You had your own room as a child?
My brother lived with my dad, as did my sister who I never talk about (complicated!), so I always had my own room at home.

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18?
Heh… as soon as I got on the BBS my mom was pretty much forced to buy me my own phone line if she ever wanted to use the phone. She could have said no, but I was a really hard core introvert, so she was just happy I was socializing with someone!

27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course?
No. Well, if by “course” you mean “activity book” then yes, but you don’t mean that.

28. Had your own TV in your room in high school?
Yes. TV junkie. Had cable but no VCR.

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college?
Nope.

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16?
No.

31. Went on a cruise with your family?
I’ve never been on a cruise.

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family?
See 31.

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up?
Yes, Mom took me to a ton of them. My favorite, hands down, is the Boston Museum of Science.

Wow, that’s the end! Ok, then.

Dear Puppy,

I miss you every day, but understand that you have somewhere else to be.

Thank you for being in my life for a tiny little bit.

Love you, buddy.

~Poppy

(If you’re new to Puppy, go here then here, but bring a box of tissues.)

I was strong. Until the end. Now I’m weak.

I am behind in reading blogs, so I only just got to read Dawg’s post from yesterday. I didn’t realize I needed to heal, but when I read it I could feel that I was starting to. No other blogger has made me cry so much, and I am glad to be able to be there for a friend, even if not physically.

Love you, Dawg. ((((HUG))))

If you want to cry then you read this post. If you don’t want to cry then you don’t read that post. You’ll be a better person for reading it, so you should cry a little (oh, who am I kidding, a lot).

This post is probably quite clearly the result of me pouring through all the blog posts and comments about Dawg and Puppy Monster.

To Helen and B and any of my other readers who may have quietly purchased graphics, thank you so very, very much.