Date: Thu, 4 Oct 2007 13:48:02 -0400
From: CNN Breaking News
Reply-To: newseditor@MAIL.CNN.COM
To: TEXTBREAKINGNEWS@CNNIMAIL12.CNN.COM
Subject: CNN Breaking News

– A Minnesota judge has rejected Sen. Larry Craig's bid to withdraw his guilty plea stemming from a men's room sex sting arrest.

Both because he is getting what he deserves and because CNN's definition of breaking news amuses me.

Pat, I did visit Yahoo news and then I totally forgot about it. Oops.

Why do I read CNN? What should I be reading for my news instead? Please, I beg of you, tell me. Google News?

I didn't feel well this morning so I stayed home and basically did absolutely nothing productive outside the e-world aside from feed the girls and do laundry. Very exciting! And it's suddenly past time to feed the girls again so I'm gonna go do that. Since I have nothing interesting to post about me, allow me to post something interesting about someone else:

Putin dissolves government

MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin on Wednesday replaced his long-serving prime minister with an obscure Cabinet official — a surprise move that could put him in the running to succeed Putin in next year’s presidential election.

The nomination of Viktor Zubkov, who currently oversees the government’s fight against money laundering, appeared to have caught much of the Russian political elite off-guard.

Putin had been expected to announce in December whom he would back to run for president next year — and Russia’s two first deputy prime ministers — former Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov and gas giant Gazprom board chairman Dmitry Medvedev — were widely considered to be the leading contenders. (rest of story)

– President Bush will announce this week plans to cut U.S. troops in Iraq by about 30,000 — to pre-'surge' levels — by next summer, a senior administration
official confirms to CNN.

That's interesting.

I'm proudest of my tree analogy in the title.

Today is the day to ponder our ability to be compassionate instead of totally disgusting asshats.

Full rtardedness over at CNN.

We were briefed for an entire day after this incident by our chief of police. We are working on implementing an alert system since we have so many buildings and it's difficult to reach everyone at once.

It's not like you just expect some kid to go fucking mental and start shooting, wander off, then wander back. We can plan for it now because it's happened. And really we're just planning for what we think might happen, not what we know will happen "next time". But, in the moment the administration thought they were doing the right thing. Sometimes we're wrong. We're fallible. We just are. It's because humans are not as predictable as we all hope each other will be, especially when a human is off his (or her) fucking rocker.

So, allow us to learn the lessons that are actually helpful to learn from this tragedy and not just point the finger and walk away with a repeat of history.

(To the one person who is going to argue this was not a tragedy, definition: a lamentable, dreadful, or fatal event or affair. It was that, Sir. It was that.)

An internal NASA review found no evidence to back up last month's report that astronauts have been allowed to fly drunk, NASA sources told CNN on Tuesday.

The agency ordered the review after an independent panel reported anecdotal evidence of intoxicated astronauts flying aircraft and spacecraft. The review, by NASA's Office of Safety and Mission Assurance, is to be released Wednesday.

The NASA Astronaut Health Care System Review Committee in July reported two alleged cases in which astronauts were so drunk that flight surgeons or other astronauts raised concerns over flight safety. The astronauts in question were still allowed to fly, the panel said.

The independent panel's report offered no specifics about the drinking episodes and said no attempt was made to confirm information given in interviews.

It was convened to look into NASA's medical and psychological screening process after the arrest of former astronaut Lisa Nowak. She is accused of assaulting a romantic rival in February.

Nowak has pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Following the committee's report, NASA adopted an interim policy saying astronauts are not qualified for flight if they consume alcohol within 12 hours of launch and ordered the review.

The report from the committee said, "Interviews with both flight surgeons and astronauts identified some episodes of heavy use of alcohol by astronauts in the immediate preflight period, which has led to flight safety concerns."

The committee said in another section of the report that it did not provide the space agency with names.

The NASA sources told CNN that Wednesday's report also does not name anyone. (CNN)

Wearing a diaper in the car doesn't mean you're drunk. Just sayin'.

Happy fucking day.

When I first saw the headline I was thinking Joe Montana… the football player… ehhhhm… Yah. And then I saw the visual and I'm okay.

Joe Mantegna: (He's bringing sexy back.)

Joe Montana: (Sexy never left him.)

Big diff.

As completely ripped off from John Oliver of The Daily Show:

1. I have tonsillitis and I thought that man's penis was a flashlight.

2. I'm bulimic but I hate shoving my finger down my throat.

I sound like a muppet, I'm laughing so hard.