Leprosy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection
Yesterday at 5:28pm Eastern marked a momentous occasion:
Adam Heath Avitable made his 1000th comment on my blog, in which he said:
"When I reach 1000, maybe I should stop commenting forever."
Too bad he's not commenting anymore or else he could totally answer the question: "Would you like a cake for this achievement?" (He loves cake.) So, instead, a classic video:
Dawg came to visit me Thursday night even though he never actually admitted he was coming to see me. (I love surprises, which I'm guessing is why he did that. He kept trying to tell me he was having conversations with Squishy Dawg even though I heard car and road sounds… mmmmhmm.)
We went to sleep after a little conversation of our own.
I woke up and it was my birthday.
I dragged Dawg to lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant.
I dragged Dawg to the waterfront to walk around and then drink beverages to rehydrate us.
I dragged Dawg to the tallest free-standing filing cabinet art in the entire world.
I dragged Dawg to my storage unit to show him all the stuff I'll eventually be bringing with me. (He did not freak out. He's weird.)
I dragged Dawg to the Lake Champlain Chocolates factory to make him buy me chocolates. (heeheeheeehheeenheheeeeeheeee num)
I kindly brought him home where boxes were waiting outside my door.
Dawg dragged the presents inside.
I opened the presents.
I love my presents. … Oh, hmm, you wanted to know what they ARE? Think Keurig. I've wanted one of those damn things for years. Dawg had no idea, and yet he got me one anyway. He reads my mind. He also got me extra coffee singles and a book of coffee recipes and the movie This is Spinal Tap.
I primed my Keurig then we had a coffee.
My mom called to wish me a happy birthday. Apparently I forgot to mention to her that I haven't moved yet. Oopsie.
Dawg and I had a conversation with Squishy Dawg.
Dawg and I went to see a pencil disappear. I liked that trick very much. I liked Heath Ledger's character waaaaaaay too much, and am starting to wonder if I am a psychopath. We had popcorn, 44 oz sodas (we each had one), and candy.
I checked my voicemail after the movie and heard my stepdad singing to me. 
bleep.
Dawg and I discussed the movie on the way home and it has now been confirmed for the millionth time that Dawg leads a very exciting life.
We got home to find the cats had not cleaned up after my tornadoing of the apartment with the gift wrap and boxes and packing materials.
I couldn't stand the fuzz on my teeth from all the candy so I brushed my teeth.
I wrote this recap.
Here we are.
Thanks to all who emailed me, sent me cards, wrote on my Facebook wall, and made posts about me. Also, thanks to some guy who sent me dinosaur forks and spoons.
Um, in case anyone left on the planet didn't know, my birthday was today. I'm 21, for the 14th year in a row. (Use your fingers to count and you'll realize that's correct.)
Soooooooo, I made 1 big long video and chopped it up into 10 parts but my computer crashed and I lost parts 4-7. I thought I had part 4 which was this really great part of me explaining the homeless guy who sat next to Avi at Iron Man and then at the end of that segment of the video I get a phone call from Dawg but that segment didn't make it off the computer as I thought it had. 
So, part 4 is simply gone.
Parts 5-7 I was able to play on the computer so I used my digital camera to film them. They kept freezing so I have to actually take the time to edit them. Pain in my ass because I'm really busy and don't have the time to do that, so it'll be a while before you actually get to hear anything at all about TequilaCon itself, but… honestly, that's what everyone else recapped so instead you get the bits around TC! And maybe later when I have the time I can share the actual TC event with you.
Here are the parts after TequilaCon: [Part 8] | [Part 9] | [Part 10]
Totally unrelated, B sent this to me because she 
me:
Dear entire world,
Blue crab margaritas are delicious.
Hugs and sloppy kisses on your rosy cheeks,
Poppy
PS - TequilaCon is tonight, not last night. Oops.
PPS - Adam is a fucker.
She tried. 
So, this one time I met Jigsaw. And then I stole her and kept her as my own. But then I gave her back because how am I supposed to carry a dog all the way from FL to France? That's just silly.
Ok, so really what happened: Avi and Britt took me to Kobe where we had way too much food and Britt and I shared a Flaming Volcano tasty beverage. Then we went to Avi's house and I met Jigsaw (technically she met me, because I've already known her for, like, 2 years, but now we're BFF so it's all good). After a quick tour of the compound during which I almost slipped and cracked my head open (I'm talented, what can I say) we all settled in for Poppytinis and fresh episodes of The Office and 30 Rock. And then Britt went to smoke and talk while Avi disappeared to (stare at porn?) so I called Dawg and told him I was all alone in the dark with another dog but it was ok because he's still my #1 Dawg (I may have been drunk at that point). And then Avi and Britt emerged again and we got in Avi's car and ate peanut butter Twix and I got water all over myself and then got another one-armed hug from Avi. (I know someone who can teach you how to hug properly if you'd like to learn.)
THE END CLASS IS STARTING AGAIN BYE
Ok, I can't take it anymore. Fess up if you're going to TequilaCon.
I know the following people are going: me (aka Poppy), Dawg, Britt, Avi, Dave2, Hilly, and Geeky Tai-Tai.
Who else?
If you're not, then why the hell not? (If you already told me why not you don't have to repeat yourself.)
And, am I wearing a "LOSE THE BASTARD" baby doll t-shirt size M/L, or what? (hehehehehehehe, you two crack me up!)
…so while my brain is still not quite functioning at full speed (lucky you!) I present to you my answers to Avitable's Querypalooza:
1. Out of all of the posts you've written, which is your favorite and why?
I suck at choosing a favorite. … I think I'm happiest with my October confercation posts, even though in retrospect some of the best material was left completely off the blog, particularly things that happened the last three days. I should go back and write up the days I never did write, because a lot happened in those days that I would love to get out of my head. Although, I'm really happy with the last line of the day 7-9 summary: It's good to be home, but now my mind is contemplating life choices more than ever. I think you would all be entertained if I wrote up exactly how the meeting with me and Dawg went (and I think he would too, especially since I just found out he thought I didn't like him when we met… haaaaaa…). I'm not saying I'm doing this, I'm just saying I bet you'd be entertained by it. Leave them wanting more, right? (I'm funny.)
2. Out of all of the posts I've written that you've read, which is your favorite and why?
Duh, the one about my birthday! Cuz my birthday is the best day of the entire year. And he drew me anatomically correctly (I really look like that).
3. Which do you find the most frightening and why? A radically fundamentalist Christian, a moderate Muslim, a pretentious atheist, or a Scientologist?
The Scientologist, but only because there are no descriptors about what kind of Scientologist it is, and it's best to fear the unknown (thanks to RW). If I knew it was a "moderate" Scientologist (ha) I'd vote for the Christian because radically fundamentalist and Christian are a VERY dangerous combination.
4. Rather than discuss the typical characteristics of someone you'd desire (sense of humor, good body, etc.), I'm going to focus on the little details. Rank them in order of preference, with #7 being the one you consider more important than the others and #1 being the one you consider the least important:
1. Even tempered nature, (um, what fun is life if someone's always even tempered ;)
2. Odorless feet, (feet stink, duh)
3. Ability to dance well, (heh, have fun with that, I'll watch you dance)
4. Good fashion sense, (jeans and t-shirts are what I call good fashion sense)
5. Encyclopedic knowledge, (I just like when people know random shit)
6. Quick-wittedness, (I've never learned to appreciate dumb people…)
7. Likes the same music, movies, and/or television (ZOMG important)
5. If you were going to be trapped on a remote island for the rest of your life with one other person, which would you choose and why?
A. Your spouse or s.o. because he amuses me.
B. Your celebrity crush
C. Your best friend
D. MacGyver
E. One of your parents or children
Ok, now you do it.
See? No Coke rewards code!
Dear Adam,
You are old and drooly. Chicks dig old and drooly. Yay, you!
You are now married to Avril Lavigne. This makes you poly-gamist. Yay, you!
You have a beautiful dog and I 
her. Yay, you!
You eat poo. But you seem to like it. Yay, you!
You draw really good pictures. You should draw me more of them, even though I have 52 already. Yay, me you!
You are getting presents from me. But not until May. It's your birthday all year. Yay, you!
Hope you have the awesomest 31st Avitabday ever. 
Hugs,
Poppy
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