Which reminds me to mention that on the way home many nights a particular reddish-grey squirrel crosses the road about 50 feet in front of me. I'm pretty sure he's welcoming me home. :)

Her dog.

Her dog.

Dogs? Are family.

Dogs? Are not property.

Don't give me that legal mumbo jumbo bullshit. You take an animal into your fold and you keep it. You don't sell it with the house!!!!!!!!

The New Girl told me that she left her office because she was mad that The Old Girl was on the phone with her son trying to convince him that selling his childhood dog with his childhood house was for the best.

There are no words…

Thanks, DMB. :)

Today I was doing my big spinny circles on the long part again when I saw three neighbor kids running as fast as they could for my property. My first instinct is to seemingly ignore until I can calmly assess, so I turned my mower away from them then looked out of the very edge of my eye to see that the kids were not running for a ball, they were running for a puppy, and so was the neighbor kids' mom. She was yelling her head off at those kids while they yelled for and chased after the puppy. …

Yah, that's gonna work.

I hopped off my mower, kneeled down on the ground, looked that puppy right in the eyes, and said, "oh, aren't you the cutest puppy? come here, sweetie!" and of course she bounds into my arms and I scoop her up and hand her over to neighbor mom while she is still shrieking at the kids that they can't run after the puppy. …

You're welcome?

Cute little beagle named Sammy, which is the name of one of my childhood dogs so I instantly felt a bond. :) Such is the life of an animal lover. I secretly hope Sammy gets loose and runs over more often, but I also secretly hope she learns to look both ways before crossing the road.

(Including the smaller version because he looks better in it.) I held him first. Really the guy at the pet store (Adam) held him and I just grabbed the snake's back end and let it flow through my fingers over and over. This guy looks like the poisonous coral snake, but no worries, isn't. Avi told me that snakes aren't slimey so I was super surprised when this guy did feel slick like baby oil.

Ball Python:

I held him completely. A beautiful and tame snake. I was still weary of his head but the worst thing he did the whole time I held him was stick his tongue out at me and curl his tail into my rain jacket. This boy was not slimey at all, dry as a bone. Ironic that the pet store guy's name is Adam and I happened to take a photo that happens to look like Michelangelo's "The Creation of Adam".

Green Tree Python:

I wanted to hold him but was not allowed because he is too aggressive. He is also $900. And gorgeous.

Adam said 5 years ago he had lizards and hated snakes. Five years later he owns zero lizards and 23 snakes. He was the right man to show us snakes. My co-worker who is working on her phobia did hold the ball python, which when it matures will be 3 feet long and 3-4 inches in diamater, if I remember correctly.

For real. My co-worker had a snake phobia which is "cured" but she needs to go handle snakes periodically to keep the phobia at bay.

I'm going. Not right this second, but as soon as she figures out her schedule we're putting a time on our calendars to go.

I am super excited. Like, a lot. I'm not sure I've ever held a snake. (Filthy gutter minds in some of you, I tell ya… You know what I mean!!!!!)

So, what we've learned today, friends, is that (Mel, sweetie, are you paying attention?):

1. It's time to move far, far away from the next door relations.
2. I have a new fetish.
3. When I say dirty things on video they sound cute instead of dirty.
4. I don't like being kissed by anyone but hot boys who I invite to kiss me. And perhaps the occasional hot girl when I'm intoxicated. But NOT my relations and not random people.
5. Bees can have lime green heads.
6. Siamese cats can look stupid but act smart.
7. It'd be easier if I used ordered list code here but I'm not.
8. If you tell one of your relations that he's acting angry he will then proceed to epiphany in front of your very eyes and you'll have to patiently wait and smile while he works through it.
9. I don't actually like pie, I just like to say I do.
10. I can't wait to tell someone in particular about one of these items because I'm curious what that person will say.
11. Poppy is a Cylon reborn as Poppet for those residing in parts of Canada and a particular cheese-producing state where there are tornado warnings. For everyone else I am still Poppy.
12. I have a lot of friends. Like, a lot. Like, at least two. Maybe 100. (Is 100 a lot?) I could name them all but then I'd have to kill you.
13. When you're muttering to yourself at the dinner table in front of your family someone is bound to notice and ask you what you're saying so you better have an answer prepared.
14. I really enjoy listing things because crossing things off is fun. This isn't that kind of list, however.
15. I take too many pictures.

I would appreciate your insight into this matter. And by this matter I mean any of it.