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Category archives for Stream of consciousness

September 16, 2008

It's what I do best

My brain is decidedly cluttered and unfocused today, so you get random Poppy core dumpage today.

Last night I tried to apply for a job online at a company you would know if I told you the name of it, but the process for getting my information filled in was sooooo convoluted and was taking sooooo many steps, that after 15 minutes and still only being on Step 1 of 6, I gave up. I then selected another job from the list I was looking at and was able to send off my information in 5 minutes. That company has a list of clients you've heard of, but you've probably not heard of the company itself. I suck at gauging how I'd fit into a corporate company, but this one looks a'ight from the internet. I just can't handle companies where the owners act like kings and queens and treat everyone else like servants. I've worked for a corporate company like this and it's precisely what turned me off to the corporate world for 6 years. I'm a human being at work and at play… and if I'm doing the right work then I am really enjoying what I'm doing… so don't stifle me with your bureaucratic bullshit.

I really miss PiC and da Bomb, who coincidentally both used to be my officemates when we were in the "sharing phase" of officenessdom before lots of people left our department and our floor. I'm seeing Break Boy and HLW Wednesday when Dawg and I go to Vermont, but there's not really any time for a work visit. I have a built in camera and internet access, I should log into chat and see if either one of them will talk to me. I've heard through the grapevine that things at work are very ungood, and this is something I get to feel guilty about. I know I didn't cause it, but my departure contributed to my very good friends' workload.

I also miss K and J in New Hampshire. Hi, guys. :smiles:

It smells really strongly of garlic in the apartment today. Dawg and I made those yummy chicken cutlets last night that he'd been drooling about all day yesterday and they came out fantastic! I prepped them and he fried them.

chicken cutlet!

They came out a perfect golden brown and were perfectly cooked — very crunchy on the outside, very moist on the inside.

The Lehman Brothers bankruptcy is a very bad thing for New York City business. Yes, please to Barclays. And… the AIG thing isn't helping either.

HOLY SHIT! You know that guy who does the World Series of Pop Culture?!?!??! Pat Kiernan!!! HE'S A NEWSCASTER ON NY1!!!!!!! (Um, am I the only person who knows what I'm talking about? Mebbe. How about we look on YouTube…)

World Series of Pop Culture 2007:

NY1:

And now, a KITTY BLITZ!!!!!!!!!

Georgeporge Ripple-A Mickey (Allie)

We live in a neighborhood with a school. The other night we heard the infamous ice cream truck come through at 10:00PM. Dude, TOO LATE. TOO LATE!!!!

Yes, there just might be (ok, ok, there definitely will be) a Cereal Wednesday tomorrow. I assure you, once your hosts have settled into their new home (as in, we have more furniture than a desk and two chairs) we'll be better about filming.

April 25, 2008

funnies (haha and strange)

The last thing the male flight attendant said to us before the plane finished taxiing to the gate in FRANCE (woot! i'm home!): "Please do us one favor by talking as loud as possible on your cell phones about things the rest of us don't care about." I chose not to call Dawg from the plane. :smiles:

Something I have learned: I am incapable of having an intelligent verbal conversation after being basically mute for the last 8 days.

Something else I have learned: I am never leaving the kitties again. Never, ever, never. Until next weekend when Dawg and I (and half the blogosphere) go to TequilaCon. Poor kitties. :blush:

I guilt tripped the instructor: After asking for clarification about the laws of reporting child pornography found on computers I never asked another question in class. Yesterday during our "capture the flag" exercise the instructor came up to me and said, "you've been really quiet this week, how's everything going?" ::blink blink:: Sometimes I think I'm Truman from The Truman Show. This was one of those moments. It's not that I am egotistical, it just takes me by surprise when other people even bother to remember me.

Speaking of remembering, I was remembered at RagLan Road: I went into the gift shop at RR to look around for RR shot glasses (they don't have any! what kind of redonkulousness is that?!). I went to the counter to pay for the one item I did want to buy and the guy behind the counter said he remembered me from my last visit. Why am I so memorable if I am not Truman? What the hell? There are, like, one billion-ish people walking through that gift shop in a 6-month period of time and yet he remembers me?

There are always presents for me when I return: One cat food throw-up and one furball throw-up. I'm sure if I look a little harder I'll find a present from the third girl. So nice of them since I never bring them home anything! (I alllllllmost bought them cute Disney cat food dishes but I decided against it since they're plastic and the vet recommends not giving plastic to Allie who has kitty acne.)

Celebration will occur: TODAY IS ALLIE'S BIRTHDAY! Thank you to Catster for reminding me. I've remembered about 20 times in the last two months but the day kinda crept up on me. I need to go to the store and buy party supplies. Party kitty in the house! (yes, Dawg and I will take photos.)

April 22, 2008

garbage in/introspection out

It's never good when the title of your Google Reader page includes "(1000+)" directly after it. I apologize to everyone this affects, but I am clicking the [Mark all as read] button. I am again in the situation I was in summer 2006 of having too much to read. That is a truly overwhelming feeling.

Mantra stolen from my yesterday self: There is always someone having a worse day than you, except the person having the worstestest day.

During this entire conference I interacted with one whole new person for any length of time. Know who that was? It was Ramelia, the lemonade girl. Yesterday I was walking back from lunch and our eyes happened to meet. I said to her, "I wish I hadn't just had this Coke so I'd want a lemonade." She said, "I'm here 11 to 3!" I said "great! You leave just as I go on break! I'll have to come back and see you tomorrow." Today is tomorrow. I keep my promises worth keeping. First thing I did today was go get a lemonade from her. We talked for a really long time. Topics discussed:

  • She works for the hotel, she is not an independent vendor, which explains why she only works that cart 11am-3pm. (I pointed out to her that these are the hottest hours for the sun since she didn't seem to know why her hours were the way they were… then again, I'd given it a lot of thought since yesterday when she told me, so it makes sense that I would know better than she why she works the hours she does out in the hot, hot sun.)
  • She is getting civil unioned either next month or next year in New Jersey, depending on her financial situation. She and her partner will then honeymoon in New York City. :smiles:
  • There are a lot of really bad people in Orlando, hence the reason she carries a baseball bat in her car and her partner carries a dagger. (A dagger. d-a-g-g-e-r.)
  • She states that 90% of Orlando Disney staff are gay (gender neutral version). I didn't say anything, but I kinda doubt that statistic. I'm going lower, Bob.
  • She was not aware that France, where I am from, is a civil union state, in fact the very first civil union state in the nation, and that CU partners receive certain spousal benefits. I told her if it wasn't so fucking cold in France I'd recommend she move there. And then I remembered how fucking unfriendly it is in France and I mentioned that too. But it's not because of who you sleep with, the whole state's just fucking unfriendly.
  • When I said "my boyfriend lives in New York City" her jaw dropped and she stepped back. She thought I was a lesbian. This happens to me sometimes. I understand why it happens, although it's very hard for me to explain in words rather than for you to experience first-hand. Sometimes mystery is a wonderful thing to preserve.
  • She suggested I go to The Boardwalk to eat at Jellyrolls. (Unfortunately for me class got out early today and they don't open until 7pm. I didn't feel like staying out late enough to go there. I'm old and stuff.)
  • I wished her good luck with her financial situation so that her civil union could be paid for, she wished me good luck with my certification, and we said we hoped our paths crossed again in the future. (It could happen. We shook hands. People who shake hands are 50% more likely to see each other again. [I made that statistic up.])

I got a sunburn walking around The Boardwalk today. I realized this while writing this post. This explains why I feel hot-in-a-lobster-pot-way.

I look really happy in this lunchtime photo:

Waiting for my kiddie hot dog - the real me!

Looks can be deceiving, or at least not forthcoming of entire situations. I'm having moments of extreme unhappiness on this trip. Despite my life going really well in general I am reminded that when I go on long trips completely alone I bottom out emotionally. It doesn't matter how much phone talking or emailing (or any of those other ways to virtually communicate) I do, I need to physically be around people I know and care about to rejuvenate me. And I miss the kitties desperately. I found cat hair in my laptop bag today and I almost burst into tears.

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that you can be happy in life but get so down in a particular moment that you are miserable. The Human Condition is fucked up. I'm happy to have lows so I truly appreciate the highs, but… at least have there be a concrete reason for those lows. I've been taking my vitamins, I had protein today, I had water, I had plenty of sleep, I had my awesome daily talk time with Dawg (twice!), I know the kitties are safe and sound, I know I'm going home soon, I know I'm healthy… so what the effing a fuck do I have to be so fucking sad about?

That right there was a rhetorical question. And I'm giving myself a hard time because it frustrates the hell out of me to know people are going through some really rough shit that I'm not going through and somehow I get to be all princessy "wah, I'm sad"? No. NO. no. This is why I'm mad at me. Just let me be mad at me. Thanks.

Moving on… Here's the number one reason why I'm not talking a lot about what's been going on in my class. Besides, many of you would be bored to tears reading about it, although I know some of you would totally dork out with me if we could have a little comment chat about it. I wish I had a BBS right this minute. I know there are other ways to achieve the same thing, but I got an email from a genie earlier who said I'd get 3 wishes if I visited his website and clicked on "grant my three wishes!" so I did.

(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

(hi. i'm a dork.)

Ok, that's enough for now.

April 2, 2008

I statements 2

When something pisses me off I cannot articulate myself until I am pulled out of the moment. Preferably by a wookie sound.

I really enjoy making videos with no purpose. As in, videos just for the sake of videos. I don't do too much in life without a purpose, a goal, a reason because I haven't known how. I'm learning how.

I am allergic to four things. Would you like to guess what the 4 things are? There's no prize for your guesses, except my amusement at your answers, and your chance to be very creative.

I still really enjoy balancing my checkbook. You have NO idea how psyched I was that it balanced to the penny when I was reconciling my vacation trip receipts. OMG. How the hell did that happen? It's like magic, only with math. Math magic!

I felt the head of depression again on the drive home last night and I started screaming at myself in the car, "seriously? SERIOUSLY?! YOU'RE DEPRESSED?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT?!" and then I stepped back (figuratively) and realized that, sure, ok, I did just make it over one whole hurdle in my life, but life isn't ever going to stop having hurdles, and I do have a lot on my plate, that I am someone who is affected by circumstances around me, and that I need to cut myself some slack and do that "one thing/day at a time" business in order to sanely get through it all. I will make it to the other side. And the other side will be a very fantastic place to be.

I know I have 3 girl kitties, but taking care of Tink (photos/video will appear, let's FOCUS people) has made me psyched about getting a boy kitty. I hope that boy kitty realizes what he's getting into… Ripley will glare, hiss, and bop him on the head then tumble him. Georgie will lick him then jump on his head. Allie will rip him a new asshole then go cower from him. Ahhhhh, good times, good times.

I have not mailed my Infragard application yet. Know why? Because I don't have an envelope big enough to send the application. What kind of fucked up reason is that? Poppy! GO GET A FUCKING ENVELOPE!!! (elevator music) Envelope acquired! See???

That's one big. ass. envelope.

I am seeing my friends Essdy and His Lovely Wife this coming weekend. (Notice how I always call the wives of my guy friends His Lovely Wife? I won't tell you why, but I have a reason. I enjoy being the way I am.) Their dog Molly is a jumper. This will be the first time I've been to their house in… probably a year, at least. HLW is pregnant with twins! I totally called the genders, two girls.

Next weekend (the one after this coming weekend) I hope to go to Break Boy's and His Lovely Wife's house. If Dawg is in town he will be the guest of honor. :winks: I am excited for Dawg to meet a few people, but Break Boy is highest on the friends list. Break Boy will get us drunk. Break Boy will make Dawg play GH3 (as in, he'll trick Dawg into wanting to play it). We will end up staying up until two in the morning (that's late for France) playing GH3 drunk. We will stay over. We will wake up to birds chirping and pancakes (or waffles). It will be fanfuckingtastic. AND there's a Dunkin Donuts on the way to their house, so Dawg can have his large French vanilla ice coffee, light with cream and 4 Splendas. :love:

I would like it to be May.

The end.

March 3, 2008

I don't like to eat fish.

I was watching TheBabyEaters sing about how they failed to entertain me (which, no, they didn't fail) and remembered that I had a dream this weekend about someone holding out a tray of dead but glistening goldfish and telling me to scoop some up and put them in a fishbowl and I kept thinking to myself, "well, that's not going to bring them back to life, but ok" so I did. And of course they didn't come back to life.

What-that-mean? Nothing? I am pretty sure I had this dream while under the influence of Advil PM, if that helps.

The title of this post is just a proclamation: I'm not into fish at all. I like them in tanks, but I don't like to eat them.

February 25, 2008

This post reminds me of my love for slight adoration of John Cusack, although there's not a specific reason why.

I have a rather large bruise on my left shin. It's about 6" long. I remember in my head thinking, "I bet this is gonna bruise" but I don't remember where I was or what I was doing when I said that, so I have no recollection of how I got it. That disturbs me, especially since I haven't had any alcohol or crack in at least a week. (I'm kidding! I haven't had alcohol in two weeks. [i make myself laugh])

On the way into work I suddenly wanted to write a post about how my dad is a conspiracy theorist and how he deduced that couples who carpool end up getting divorced. I was part of a couple who carpooled. I'm also left-handed and I think my dad knows some lefties who got divorced, so that really does nothing to disprove his point other than to say that lots of people with lots of life circumstances get divorced. But, just a word to the weary: If you feel like carpooling with your partner is a control mechanism please ponder that a while then bring it up. I had some pretty unpleasant fights about carpooling, the final of which ended up with me saying "FUCK OFF!" and slamming the car door. I wasn't sure I'd be picked up from work that day…

If you'd like to keep your skin clear might I suggest that you not eat a bunch of chocolate and fried food? Because those will make you break out even if you're old like me. I had chocolatey cookies, chocolatey Reese's pb cup eggs, then mini veggie corn dogs, potato skins, mozzarella sticks, and mini egg rolls, all drenched in a thin layer of vegetable oil on a cookie sheet, yesterday and now my skin is attempting to revolt. I'm fighting the revolt. I'm not confident I'll win. (See? I TOLD YOU I feed my body what it asks for. I'm not kidding about that. Appropriate dipping sauces for that dinner: Mustard, marinara sauce, and teriyaki mixed with Szechuan sauce. I know you wanted to know.)

Ripley whacked me in the face with her tail this morning, as in up over her head into my face, and it was all wet. I have no idea why it was all wet. It could have been water from a sink, or it could have been pee. I'm disturbed either way. I love my girls, will do anything for them, will gladly clean up their various messes when they have them (my favorite was making Ripley lie on her back while I cleaned smeary poop off her ass for 20 minutes with Cotonelle wipes a few months back and saying, "YOU STINK!" while she stared at me with her "Mama, I loooooove you" eyes), but I guess I don't really enjoy being hit in the face with wet tail. And this confirms that I am glad I got the braces instead of the Lasik, because if I didn't have glasses on I would have had wet tail eyes this morning instead of wet tail glasses.

I just looked down on my office floor and saw a milk ring. Obviously when I drank that bottle of milk I forgot I wasn't home and threw the milk ring on the floor for the kittos. So sad…

I spent all weekend thinking I saw Georgie out of the corner of my eye. Granted, I was at a place where pets were allowed, but pets require a $300 deposit and a non-refundable $25/day/pet fee. So, you KNOW I didn't bring the kittos with me. They were fine with two ginormous bowls of water, a cup of water, two ginormous bowls of food, and a litter-chocked litter box.

I had an Americano this morning. I am now drinking the iced Americano. I really need to pee. Bye. :smiles:

February 20, 2008

conflicted unresolution

Sometimes I wonder what my intentions actually are for doing certain things.

Do you ever wonder that?

I mean, … I always think I'm a nice person, doing things for or with others just because I'm nice and I want them to be happy. And then I catch myself in a moment of wondering if my intentions are as pure as I thought they were. What am I getting out of it? I'm getting something out of it. I am not as selfless as I hoped. Because even in being selfless I am enjoying the feeling of being selfless, and therefore am actually selfish.

Not saying there's anything wrong with that, I just wish I wouldn't notice I was being so kind hearted, because as soon as I notice it means I'm conceited.

Sucky.

February 6, 2008

core dump

So, how ya doin'? Me, yup, I'm good. Yup, yup. So, what's new with you?

If it wasn't clear from my Poppable, there's a snow storm here today. I saw three accidents and heard several sirens on the way into work. I almost kicked the fucking ass of a guy who decided to tail me into the parking lot of Starbucks, but he had this big "I'm super happy and nothing will get me down" grin on his face so I cut him some slack and just made kung fu motions behind him while he ordered his coffee.

Speaking of the place that gives me my morning buzz, I got hit on in Starbucks this week. I was not really paying attention to what I was doing while adding cream and sugar to my iced venti Americano and I totally stepped all over the foot of the guy next to me. I apologized semi-profusely. … You think he's the one who hit on me, don't you. You'd be wrong. This total Wonder Bread walks up behind me and says something about me being a beautiful woman… and I just said, "ok, then…" because… um, if someone's gonna get a chance to HIT ON ME in that scenario it should be THE GUY WHOSE FOOT I STEPPED ON. Not the mini-van-of-kids-toting dad and HUSBAND with the dorky owl glasses and the little red ski jacket. Dude, back the fuck off, know when it's your turn to pounce on the lovelies. And, for the record, I don't like getting hit on by random strangers, kthxbai. But… um, yah, it happens a lot. I know there's a lot of single people in the world, but walking up to me and hitting on me doesn't make me like you. I'm complicated, and I'm not revealing what I do prefer, but just letting you know what I don't prefer. :smiles:

I want Obama to win.

I had gravy for dinner twice this week and I'm pretty sure I'll be having gravy with dinner tonight. Pork gravy. I keep not practicing the white gravy, which is perhaps a mistake on my part.

Um, not to… remind you about a commercial "holiday" that just exists to generate revenue for merchants, but do you all have Valentine's Day plans? I have no plans on the actual day other than to flip off anyone who says "Happy Valentine's Day!" to me. I'm not bitter, I just like flipping people off. Besides, I have plans. Just not on the day. :winks:

Fab posted about me again because apparently I'm just that interesting. I think that one's really funny, actually. The post yesterday where everyone said they don't agree with me about the busload of cats? A well thought out post, but reading the comments was like watching someone stick a needle in me so I didn't.

I kinda wanna play hooky today, for no good reason. If I could find a theater near me that was playing There Will Be Blood I'd be out the door… Maybe I should just go see Cloverfield or Juno again. Or stay home and watch the 6th and final disc of "Freaks and Geeks" which will make me sad that it's over but happy that I watched it. I'm back up to the maximum number of vacation days again, but I'm going to Tennessee for a week in almost exactly a month, so that'll take care of that problem. When I say I'm maxed out on vacation days I'm not kidding. Maxed out means I have 42 of them, since I get 21 vacation days per year. (Or do I have 44 because I get 22 per year? Whatever.) I also get sick days and holidays. My employer is very generous.

PiC made me a pie with the Jell-O pudding I gave him from Dawg. I have yet to eat the pie because I am saving it for this weekend when I am willing to take on the project of this pie. It's a chocolate crust topped with pudding, a layer of crushed Oreos, another layer of pudding, homemade whipped cream, then topped with more crushed Oreos. Did I mention I got to pick it up chez PiC and do hallway game with Nigel then hold Too Legit to Quit while she stared at pretty colors on her mama's computer screen? I love going to their house. They're, like, normal and stuff.

My co-worker who was in Iraq has just informed me via IM that he is snowed in but getting a gold tooth at lunchtime today. He's not kidding. He's calling it his "pimp daddy" tooth. Can't wait to see that…

I received a billion CNN Breaking News alert emails overnight, one of which was an actual, legitimate one:

Tornadoes in the SE

Called my mom to check if she was ok, but no answer. Left a message asking her to call or email, no return call or email yet. On a scale of 1 to 10 I have a tiny nagging worry in the back of my brain, but my mom told me to NOT FREAK OUT EVERY TIME THERE IS A HURRICANE when she lived in Florida so I'm pretty sure that advice carries over to tornadoes in Tennessee.

Update: Mom finally got my voicemail late this afternoon and left me a voicemail that she's fine.

I think my brain is now sufficiently dumped for today.

January 27, 2008

Georgie thinks you look phat in that.

After all the internet talk about bacon I broke down and had maple cured kissed bacon yesterday. It was the most delicious fucking bacon I've had in my entire life. I had it as a side to chicken alfredo. I rock.

I got my hair did yesterday. It's super dark. I love it super dark. My stylist tries to get me to have my eyebrows done as well since they're pretty much albino eyebrows, but the color fades within two days so it's really not worth it. Better to just make sure my glasses are pushed up on my nose so that my brows are pretty much covered.

Being a product prophet is a lot harder than I thought, unless it's prophesizing about iced venti Americanos. I converted one non-believer yesterday. My goal by the end of the week is to convert the state country of France. Of course this means many people will end up in the ER thinking they're having heart attacks, but that's a bonus in my book!

Dawg finally suffered a massive blow in The War of Dogs and Cats. Or, ok, his dad did. Oops.

PS - Apparently Georgie was wrong — there is always room for Jell-O.

Rooooooom for Jell-O (72 boxes)

But now I have no place to put my plates.

January 19, 2008

plenty of nothin'

I am a bit scattered in the head today so I'll just post my usual randomosity.

The wii party last night was SO FUN. Brother, PiC, and Break Boy were all there. We rocked out with beer (thanks, Brother!) and pizza until about 10pm when everyone else went home then Break Boy and I caught up on work (ohhhh, the shitocracy) and life and played some face offs and battles. He and I have the same problem, we can't limit ourselves when it comes to GH3. "Just one more song." An hour later and we're still playing. We need a chaperone. Although, honestly, what's wrong with playing GH3 till midnight? I took video and pics but I'm not quite sure when I'll be posting them. (Please don't beg. It's not pretty when you beg. When people beg at me it actually backfires and makes me take longer to do something. So, please, patience is your virtue.)

I am trying to clean up my place today so I don't have to think about chores for the rest of the weekend. It's great living alone, but I always know whose turn it is to clean up the mess. :winks:

I am going to see Cloverfield this weekend and I'm pretty fucking psyched about that. I have been waiting for this movie since back when they were only showing a small clip of the first few minutes and weren't even giving it a name. I really hope it lives up to its whale with crabs legend.

It's really fucking cold in my bedroom right now. What the hell. It's 27 F out.

Kristen taught me how to give the kittos box rides. They hang out in a box, I lift the box, I carry the kitty around in the box. Everybody wins. I have given Ripley and Georgie a few box rides. Allie is confused and jumps out of the box. I'm enjoying this new game.

I got "Freaks and Geeks" from Netflix since I've heard good stuff about that show, and like several of the actors in it, but have never seen said show. I am looking forward to… uh, stating the obvious… geeking out on it.

I could really use an Americano right now. Anyone wanna go get one for me? Feeling a lil lazy.

I had a really weird dream about my mom this morning. The details aren't important, but the sum of the dream is that I really need to call my mom and check in. She worries about me but tries not to be all up in my business (heeeeehehehehe) so it's kind of me to reach out and just offer the business.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to do the 2nd annual Poppy awards. I'll be reminding you all what last year's categories are then asking you for suggestions for this year. Then I will shorten the list to the awards I feel like giving, make an award icon, choose the people I think deserve to win said award, and let you know you won. It's a lot of fun doing all that. I did the actual awards reveal in February last year, so I'm mentioning this early and will get the ball rolling soon.

I clearly enjoy talking about myself.

k, bye!