Poppy Cedes

I went to my alma mater for five years. I realized the second semester of my junior year that I was never going to finish my pre-vet degree so I had to scramble and switch from pre-vet major/french minor to french major/asian studies minor, hence that fifth year. And someday I’ll stop feeling the need to explain why it took me five years to graduate college — not cuz i’mstoopid, but cuz i’m just chemistry/biology/physics lecture stoopid.

Digression, it’s what’s for dinner.

I graduated in 1997. In 2002 I returned to my alma mater as an employee. For the six years I worked there I participated at a highly involved level on a committee that attracted, accepted, oriented, and welcomed new students to the campus. I was privy to the university’s concern that Vermont is a very homogeneous state where diversity of culture and life experience does not come naturally. Diversity became a manic mission of the administration, and all departments were called upon to integrate diversity plans into their business models. At some point some one or group came up with the idea that placing two faces together of people from different backgrounds somehow equated to an attractive physical representation for people who normally would have disregarded the school as Just Another Rich White Kid Party School.

It’s now a full 8 years since the split faces were added to the orientation print materials for first year students. And here I sit in New York City, casually checking the news of Vermont, and reading that UVM will air commercials to attract prospective students and their families on ESPNU, and felt so hopeful when I saw that “an award winning creative team” helped produce the commercials, but felt that familiar disappointment as I watched each 30-second spot show split-screened faces of what UVM thinks diversity means.

Diversity doesn’t mean trying too hard to say that the population isn’t all just rich white kids. Diversity is organic. And diversity happens because the people within the community foster acceptance in their hearts, in their lives, in their everyday actions. My friends back in Vermont who moved there from Brooklyn struggle daily with Vermont’s passive-aggressive intolerance of non-natives. The state’s unofficial motto truly is “welcome to Vermont, now go home”. And it was always rumored that if you live in Vermont ALLLLL your life except you leave for even a little tiny bit (which I did for 6 months when I was 10, turning 11) that you become a Flatlander, no longer accepted as a Vermonter.

Dude. That’s just fucked up. Why WOULD people from other cultures, backgrounds, ways of thinking, ways of living even WANT to live there?

I think a better ad campaign would be photos and videos of students interacting, working together, doing together, producing together, having a campfire sing-along on the shore of Lake Champlain or a snowball fight on the green, or hanging out previewing a student-made film in the chapel, NOT two students separated in their filming who are glommed together through (not actually so) creative editing. Showing students working, playing, living harmoniously together is what fosters diversity.

And… whoever edited the faces together should be fired, because everyone looks scary together.

My 2 cents. I welcome your thoughts on the matter.

PS – hi. :)

I was on the subway Thursday innocently listening to my iPod when a Stuff You Should Know podcast began playing titled “How Cannibalism Works“.

The description of the podcast:

“Cannibalism is one of humanity’s near-universal taboos, but it has been practiced in widely varying circumstances throughout history. Check out this HowStuffWorks podcast to learn the difference between the three types of cannibalism.”

In this podcast they describe the three types of cannibalism which I will now do for you as well:

Survival cannibalism is the act of person(s) eating other person(s) to survive. Those people they feed upon can be dead from natural or untimely causes (including murder by others than those involved in the act of cannibalism), by murder at the hands of the cannibal, or by suicide at the hands of the person being consumed.

Learned cannibalism is passed down from generation to generation and is broken up into two categories:
Endocannibalism: Eating members of your tribe or family. This is most often done to honor the dead person or to capture some characteristic the person possessed in life. It, obviously, can be done for more nefarious reasons.

Exocannibalism: Eating members outside of your tribe or family. This is generally done with the nefarious intent of scaring a group of people, stealing a person’s life force, or just for shits and giggles (as in, “I’m hungry, I think I’ll eat that guy!”).

Autocannibalism is the term applied to a person who eats his or her own flesh. This practice is not very common in everyday life, it is more a mechanism of torture or war crime, or can refer back to survival cannibalism where it is necessary to eat a portion of yourself to stay alive.

The one thing the How Stuff Works podcasters couldn’t find were laws specifically outlawing cannibalism on the books. There were references to it being illegal, but the podcasters concluded that the reason there were no laws on the books was because the topic was so taboo, so heinous, that we don’t actually need to have laws banning cannibalism.

What ass backwards thinking. If there is an action that is deemed punishable by society’s standards for healthy and harmonious living we cannot assume that there are some actions so absolutely horrible that no law needs to be made against it. I personally wouldn’t torture anybody, but I’m very glad there are rules on the book about it. I personally wouldn’t forcibly rape anybody, but I’m very glad there are rules on the book about it. I personally wouldn’t stalk someone, but I’m very glad there are rules on the book about it.

But, if given the “right” circumstances, I probably would resort to survival cannibalism or autocannibalism. Books or not, if I am in a self preservation circumstance then Meat is Meat and I’m gonna eat it to stay alive. If that means I’m going to jail, so be it.

I did a bit of googling and found no specific reference that cannibalism itself is specifically illegal, but the act committed prior to eating the flesh is:

IC 35-45-11-2
Abuse of corpse
35-45-11-2 Sec. 2. A person who knowingly or intentionally:
(1) mutilates a corpse;
(2) has sexual intercourse or sexual deviate conduct with the corpse; or
(3) opens a casket with the intent to commit an act described in subdivision (1) or (2);
commits abuse of a corpse, a Class D felony.
As added by P.L.249-1993, SEC.1. Amended by P.L.52-1997, SEC.56.
Sources: http://www.in.gov/legislative/ic/code/title35/ar45/ch11.html

In order to eat a person’s flesh you kind of need to filet or somehow tear them up a bit, thus mutilating. So… what happens if your BFF filets someone and you just eat the flesh? Just the butcher goes down but you’re in the clear? Sticky situation, that.

You can find out waaaaaay more about the hows, whys, and whats of cannibalism at HowStuffWorks.com. Enjoy!

One of the guys at work who half the time bullshits me and half the time is dead serious (all in the same tone) told everyone that one of his buddies that works for Glock said that sales have tripled since the day that Barack Obama was elected our 44th president. I’d like to present some theories on why and have you tell me which is the truth:

1. People see the end of times because the icon of a mature-in-age white man will no longer be our leader.
2. We’re sticking it to Palin who thought she’d win on cuteness and her support for every citizen arming him or herself to the hilt.
3. We all received a memo that one way to stimulate the economy was to buy guns so we did. (Mine must be trapped in my spam filter.)
4. People fear rioting.
5. It’s a fucking coincidence.
6. It’s not even true.

So, what do you think? I couldn’t come to a logical conclusion on that without researching, but since November 4 was only 8 days ago I’m not sure how much there is to research. How can they even tell that sales have tripled in 8 days? They must have a great system for tracking their sales and great people to analyze the data.

On completely different notes:

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, BIG BROTHER! Wish I was there, but glad I got to see you for the 110th party this summer.

There is a new Cereal Wednesday this week filmed during Neverwas weekend with special guest Mikey/LeSombre! w00t!

PS: For those of you who didn’t see it in the feed reader, the other day when I yanked my post (not because Adam or Jess told me to, but because I felt like I shouldn’t post it until Adam did) I had linked to this picture minus the border and the text I wrote in that post was:

“Christine/PocketCT brings Poppy’s Princess Leia’s demise, perhaps as justice for that stormtrooper she killed with her bare hands? [Cropped to fit the blog.]

Jess took this picture at Neverwas. She is a friend of Adam, and because I’m not sure how “out there” she is with her identity I won’t say more than that or link you to her photos. She is a mad amazing, mad cool person. It’s funny when you don’t realize what incredible people are just around the corner, hidden in shadows… or behind the camera.”

Rest of the party set is at flickr.

Dear E Train,

Go suck your own cock. And not in the pleasant way. I want you to suck it the teethy pus-filled sore way. Because that’s the best that you deserve. And I don’t just want, I insist.

Poppy does not love you.

The end.

Dear Audrina from The Hills,

Justin is a dirty scumbag. He’s only hanging around you so he can be on TV. I assure you he sucks the cock. That’s not a bad thing in any way whatsoever, other than the fact that you think he’s exclusive to you now which makes him a cheater and you a fool.

Kisses,
Poppy

Dear MTV,

Did you really think we wouldn’t notice this is your third time having “The Real World” in New York if you called it “The Real World: Brooklyn”?

You’re stupid,
Poppy

Dear Top Chef,

YAY TO YOU BEING IN NEW YORK I LOVE YOU I CAN’T WAIT TO MISTAKENLY RUN INTO PADMA AND TOM EVEN THOUGH THE BULK OF THE SHOW IS ALREADY TAPED.

Love love love,
~ Popstar

My feed reader is so disorganized. So far I’ve only found one blog that mentioned the (second) presidential debate from last night. Or, at least, I only recall the one. And since that blogger probably doesn’t care for me so much I’m steering clear of leaving a comment there so I’ll say here: It annoyed me that Tom Brokaw kept whining at Obama that he was going over his time limit or asking to respond to a question, but not much to McCain. I thought the “hired help” was supposed to be impartial, but it was clear to me that Brokaw respects and approves of McCain more than he does Obama.

I am a Vermonter and am therefore obligated by birth to be a democrat. But that’s not my point. My point is that Brokaw is a whiny little bitch.

Ok, really, my point is that I saw unfair treatment of one candidate over another last night and I don’t approve.

If I base my vote purely on the outcome of the Presidential and Vice Presidential debates I’m going to need to do a write-in of Joe Biden for president. But, if I think back to the last eight years and realize that (what’s our VP’s name? Puppet Master? Rifle-to-your-friend’s-face-master? Whatever…) was always the brains behind GWB then I guess I can stand for Biden being an intelligent and informed voice for President Obama.

Even if he did plagiarize parts of his speech during his 1988 run for president.

Because who hasn’t plagiarized?

(Oh, shush, you have too. Remember 6th grade “reports” where you just copied encyclopedias because you didn’t understand the difference between writing your own opinion and what was on a page in front of you? Yah.)

Anyway, I know some of my readers and very dear friends are Republicans (I sleep with one), but this here’s mah blawg, so I’m just getting out of my head what’s been rattling around.

This is the video that finally made me change my voting location:

Please vote.

Thanks, Jess.

My brain is decidedly cluttered and unfocused today, so you get random Poppy core dumpage today.

Last night I tried to apply for a job online at a company you would know if I told you the name of it, but the process for getting my information filled in was sooooo convoluted and was taking sooooo many steps, that after 15 minutes and still only being on Step 1 of 6, I gave up. I then selected another job from the list I was looking at and was able to send off my information in 5 minutes. That company has a list of clients you’ve heard of, but you’ve probably not heard of the company itself. I suck at gauging how I’d fit into a corporate company, but this one looks a’ight from the internet. I just can’t handle companies where the owners act like kings and queens and treat everyone else like servants. I’ve worked for a corporate company like this and it’s precisely what turned me off to the corporate world for 6 years. I’m a human being at work and at play… and if I’m doing the right work then I am really enjoying what I’m doing… so don’t stifle me with your bureaucratic bullshit.

I really miss PiC and da Bomb, who coincidentally both used to be my officemates when we were in the “sharing phase” of officenessdom before lots of people left our department and our floor. I’m seeing Break Boy and HLW Wednesday when Dawg and I go to Vermont, but there’s not really any time for a work visit. I have a built in camera and internet access, I should log into chat and see if either one of them will talk to me. I’ve heard through the grapevine that things at work are very ungood, and this is something I get to feel guilty about. I know I didn’t cause it, but my departure contributed to my very good friends’ workload.

I also miss K and J in New Hampshire. Hi, guys.

It smells really strongly of garlic in the apartment today. Dawg and I made those yummy chicken cutlets last night that he’d been drooling about all day yesterday and they came out fantastic! I prepped them and he fried them.

They came out a perfect golden brown and were perfectly cooked — very crunchy on the outside, very moist on the inside.

The Lehman Brothers bankruptcy is a very bad thing for New York City business. Yes, please to Barclays. And… the AIG thing isn’t helping either.

HOLY SHIT! You know that guy who does the World Series of Pop Culture?!?!??! Pat Kiernan!!! HE’S A NEWSCASTER ON NY1!!!!!!! (Um, am I the only person who knows what I’m talking about? Mebbe. How about we look on YouTube…)

World Series of Pop Culture 2007:

NY1:

And now, a KITTY BLITZ!!!!!!!!!

We live in a neighborhood with a school. The other night we heard the infamous ice cream truck come through at 10:00PM. Dude, TOO LATE. TOO LATE!!!!

Yes, there just might be (ok, ok, there definitely will be) a Cereal Wednesday tomorrow. I assure you, once your hosts have settled into their new home (as in, we have more furniture than a desk and two chairs) we’ll be better about filming.

If I was addicted to alcohol and told you I was quitting because it didn’t work into my budget anymore would you tell me where I could get alcohol cheaper?

If I was addicted to crack (ha, Fab) and told you I was quitting because it didn’t work into my budget anymore would you tell me where I could get crack cheaper?

If I was addicted to dirty hookers and told you I was quitting because it didn’t work into my budget anymore would you tell me where I could get cheaper dirty hookers?

Read between my lines.

While waiting for the orthodontist I saw this Louis Vuitton ad printed in Town & Country Travel magazine:

…underneath which was this incorrectly written sentence:

The same ad is published elsewhere with correct wording, although I can’t find an image that isn’t under lock and key, forcing me to paaaaay for it, but the correction to the word “that” is “than”.

It’s a common error to type that instead of than, but I’m just super surprised they let such a glaring error go to print. I can understand an article typo, a caption typo, but… a Louis Vuitton print ad? Linked to major celebrities? (Oh, c’mon, Andre and Steffi are celebrities.) I am guessing someone got fired for that?

That ad is very romantic when written correctly. Too bad it was ruined by the misplaced that.

And all video footage on the internet is real.

And so is Santa.

Thanks, Pat.