Sometimes it really feels like Jack Handy up in here

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I got totally dorked out during a conference call WebEx with an AV vendor on Thursday. They were telling me how their product works to detect and stop zero-day threats and I almost lost my shit, I was so fucking stoked. We talked so long that we had to actually schedule another conference call for this morning because everyone on the call had to bail but me. I do have my certification in incident handling, so when I actually get to talk shop about how products work I get a little kid in a candy shoppish. I made everyone laugh several times with my thorough enjoyment of the product.

Dawg and I are seeing Def Leppard in July! I just scored us orchestra tickets. And by scoring I just mean I went to the website and paid for tickets. SCORE! He will be my wingman, much like I was Bella‘s wingman at NKOTB. I LOVE DEF LEPPARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOOO!!!! yup.

It occurred to me on the way home Thursday that I bet my brother thinks I’m a big liar. He had asked me why I didn’t take up his offer to have a Guinness with him when I was in Vermont and my honest answer was that I don’t like to drink and drive, even if I’m driving hours later after I’m drinking. But then on the walk home my mind flashed to a photo of this huge-ass frozen margarita I had with him at The Ground Round in the spring of 2008. In fact I had two that day, and then went back to work. I have no defense for the inconsistency other than I’m human. I really don’t drink and drive.

Popstar drinketh

That’s, like, the second time I’ve ever done that. The first time was back in college and if I’d been pulled over I would have ended up in jail. I was housesitting for a couple and had some tasty beverage that night, but they came home a day or two early, at night when I was in bed, and I had to get out of bed and get out of their house. I wasn’t in trouble with them or anything, they just were all done with their trip so they came home. But then I was stuck driving myself home while I definitely had the tunnel vision going. I wouldn’t recommend that to anyone ever. It’s no good. So, honestly, really, I try to make sure any alcohol is completely out of my system before driving — except that one defiant time I was hanging out with my brother at lunch. I was going through a very rebellious phase.

Wow, that all sounds like an excuse, doesn’t it? I’M A JACKASS. ;)

I could really go for one of those beef corn tortillas I used to get in Vermont all the time. I bet a chili taco from the Chinese place would substitute nicely…

Posted on June 19th 2009 in Miscellaneous T

We interrupt our program to bring you this regressage: chinchilla has the word inch in the middle.

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I think this week is going to be a Write Off. Where I turn off the writing.

That’s sweet, isn’t it?

But I did homework, a show, and two posts for Lick. Slam. Suck. so it’s not like I’m doing nothing besides working all day.

Exciting subway adventure this morning: I was on the E train before 8am this morning. I didn’t get to work until 9:15am. Let me just explain to you: I should have been out of the tunnel by 8:42am at the latest. Slow trains due to traffic, then there was a sick passenger. I cannot even explain in words how much it irks me when I am early to leave for work but forces beyond my control make me late. That took away my coffee time, my Duane Reade time, my Dagostino time… come on!

And then mope mope mope woe is me mope mope mope insert me complaining about being unloved mope mope mope and who can guess what time of month it is? mope mope mope it must be bedtime.

Mope.

Hey,… that’s poeM.

By the way, the Triangles have eyes and can think like a borg collective. That’s effed up.

Posted on February 10th 2009 in Miscellaneous T, The Subway

You have been taken to your leader. Except I don’t feel like leading, so I guess this is technically anarchy.

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I’m starting a new cult where we ignore the necessity of money, any obligation we prefer not to acknowledge, and that clause in our cardiac contract that says we can’t eat a lot of bacon.

WHO. IS. WITH. ME??????????

Posted on January 29th 2009 in Miscellaneous T

Peanut, meet chocolate.

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I am old now. I know because I now get The -Itis after I eat a meal. I really could very much curl up in a ball and sleep for 2 hours after filling my tummy.

At lunch Tuesday I was busy working so I didn’t take one. Instead I took a 5 minute walk outside at around 3pm to see if the pigeons would flock to me; they did not. But my head stopped feeling like Atreyu when he goes into the Swamp of Sadness with his pretty pony Artax:

Warning: That video is sad. Oh, hmm, mebbe shoulda put this before the video.

I witnessed a very official solicitation on the train. I also finally came to the realization that when I visit Vermont and return to New York it takes me a day to readjust to the general city craziness.

You know what’s really good?????? These:
Very yummy pb pretzels

You know what’s really not good??????? These:

(But the ending is really super adorably cute!)

For the first time in perhaps forever my BFF will get her gift on/before her actual birthday. She will like my gift, even though I didn’t do what she always does for me, which is buys lots of items and prettily places them together and ships them from her home to me. The box alone will be worth my lack of involvement with the wrap-wrap. And… she reads my mind so she already knows what’s coming.

I need to take my vitamins more regularly again. Please remind me? Thanks!

Posted on January 28th 2009 in Miscellaneous T, Photos, Videos and vlogs

lessons learned on New Year’s Eve Eve that I’m sharing on New Year’s Eve

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Time Warner channel 1008 has horror movies on demand.

An F train can sometimes be in disguise as an E train.

An F train stops equally as close to my work as an E train if I let it.

I’m not good at letting people walk all over me. As I shouldn’t be.

Hale & Hearty’s potato and sausage soup isn’t good.

If both metro card replenishing machines are in use a line of impatient people will form behind you.

A life-sized figure of Boba Fett is affixed to the IT department wall in my business (yah, I’m observant). Apparently they aren’t Trekkies. Or -ers.

If I go to any other Starbucks than the one I normally frequent I can still get bold coffee this week as opposed to the weakass shit they pass off as coffee but tastes like old tea water. Helllllllo, new Starbucks!

There are really cool Japanese restaurants on W 55 between 5 Ave and 6 Ave! And one is open for breakfast!

If a shop doesn’t look like a shop on the outside then I probably don’t have enough money to my name to even walk in there, much less shop there.

Oh, and Honeycombs don’t really taste much like honey if you eat them “raw” or if you let them sit in your milk too long.

Have a safe and happy new year celebration!

Posted on December 31st 2008 in Holiday, Life, Miscellaneous T, The Subway

It’s what I do best

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My brain is decidedly cluttered and unfocused today, so you get random Poppy core dumpage today.

Last night I tried to apply for a job online at a company you would know if I told you the name of it, but the process for getting my information filled in was sooooo convoluted and was taking sooooo many steps, that after 15 minutes and still only being on Step 1 of 6, I gave up. I then selected another job from the list I was looking at and was able to send off my information in 5 minutes. That company has a list of clients you’ve heard of, but you’ve probably not heard of the company itself. I suck at gauging how I’d fit into a corporate company, but this one looks a’ight from the internet. I just can’t handle companies where the owners act like kings and queens and treat everyone else like servants. I’ve worked for a corporate company like this and it’s precisely what turned me off to the corporate world for 6 years. I’m a human being at work and at play… and if I’m doing the right work then I am really enjoying what I’m doing… so don’t stifle me with your bureaucratic bullshit.

I really miss PiC and da Bomb, who coincidentally both used to be my officemates when we were in the “sharing phase” of officenessdom before lots of people left our department and our floor. I’m seeing Break Boy and HLW Wednesday when Dawg and I go to Vermont, but there’s not really any time for a work visit. I have a built in camera and internet access, I should log into chat and see if either one of them will talk to me. I’ve heard through the grapevine that things at work are very ungood, and this is something I get to feel guilty about. I know I didn’t cause it, but my departure contributed to my very good friends’ workload.

I also miss K and J in New Hampshire. Hi, guys. :smiles:

It smells really strongly of garlic in the apartment today. Dawg and I made those yummy chicken cutlets last night that he’d been drooling about all day yesterday and they came out fantastic! I prepped them and he fried them.

chicken cutlet!

They came out a perfect golden brown and were perfectly cooked — very crunchy on the outside, very moist on the inside.

The Lehman Brothers bankruptcy is a very bad thing for New York City business. Yes, please to Barclays. And… the AIG thing isn’t helping either.

HOLY SHIT! You know that guy who does the World Series of Pop Culture?!?!??! Pat Kiernan!!! HE’S A NEWSCASTER ON NY1!!!!!!! (Um, am I the only person who knows what I’m talking about? Mebbe. How about we look on YouTube…)

World Series of Pop Culture 2007:

NY1:

And now, a KITTY BLITZ!!!!!!!!!

Georgeporge Ripple-A Mickey (Allie)

We live in a neighborhood with a school. The other night we heard the infamous ice cream truck come through at 10:00PM. Dude, TOO LATE. TOO LATE!!!!

Yes, there just might be (ok, ok, there definitely will be) a Cereal Wednesday tomorrow. I assure you, once your hosts have settled into their new home (as in, we have more furniture than a desk and two chairs) we’ll be better about filming.

And now, an update

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Hi all, just a quick post to say:

I uploaded photos of the apartment from before we moved in.

Photos of the apartment after we moved in will be posted sometime after we get my stuff from Vermont. (I don’t exactly know when that will be.)

Internet is still scheduled to arrive Friday, but I accidentally figured out how to use email and general web browsing from my phone today. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I had to call the landlord to help with the clogged tub. The tub wasn’t clogged, it was just in “bath mode”. This building is from the World War II era… back then tubs had a different way of keeping the water from draining than that fandangled way we have today.

I have so much stuff to do to become legitimate here, but it’s so overwhelming.

Job search is on hold until my stuff is here. It’s impossible to have appointments to do with the apartment AND appointments to do with a job. I’m sorry to anyone who disagrees with that. It will work out how it should when the time is right, dammit.

I really wanna go see Burn After Reading.

Dawg and I are confirmed for the Neverwas party. You should go too. And sponsor someone who needs a ticket, like Sybil or Cissa or (errrrrrrrrrrrr, um, sigh, I suck, who else?)

Georgie keeps sleeping UNDER the orange comforter, despite the heat in the apartment. Everyone, including myself, is wondering how she spends hours upon hours under those covers without coming out for air. *shrug*

I don’t care for the grocery store within walking distance so I need to find the address for the Super Stop & Shop (ahh, there it is!) and do a full grocery shopping. And for everything Dawg said he likes but wasn’t in the mood for the other day — I’m buying it to keep on hand.

Do you know how hard it is in this day and age to not have a microwave at your fingertips? Mine is in a storage unit in Vermont, and not even sure if we’ll use it. Anyone know how to get the stain and stench of burnt-to-the-point-of-being-on-fire microwave popcorn out of a microwave?

Oh, and I need some real in person friends. Anyone wanna be my friend? Hang out? This whole waiting for Dawg to come home so that I have another human to interact with is not fair to him. He just spent 10+ hours at work and comes home to a humanly deprived Poppy when all he wants is a nap. So… movie, anyone? Coffee? (blurg) shopping???? Something. Something! Sparky? Robin? Anyone else close by? Really, I’m not kidding. I’m not begging, though. Just, um, nudging. :grins:

Ok, bye.

Posted on September 9th 2008 in Miscellaneous T

I statements 2

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When something pisses me off I cannot articulate myself until I am pulled out of the moment. Preferably by a wookie sound.

I really enjoy making videos with no purpose. As in, videos just for the sake of videos. I don’t do too much in life without a purpose, a goal, a reason because I haven’t known how. I’m learning how.

I am allergic to four things. Would you like to guess what the 4 things are? There’s no prize for your guesses, except my amusement at your answers, and your chance to be very creative.

I still really enjoy balancing my checkbook. You have NO idea how psyched I was that it balanced to the penny when I was reconciling my vacation trip receipts. OMG. How the hell did that happen? It’s like magic, only with math. Math magic!

I felt the head of depression again on the drive home last night and I started screaming at myself in the car, “seriously? SERIOUSLY?! YOU’RE DEPRESSED?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT?!” and then I stepped back (figuratively) and realized that, sure, ok, I did just make it over one whole hurdle in my life, but life isn’t ever going to stop having hurdles, and I do have a lot on my plate, that I am someone who is affected by circumstances around me, and that I need to cut myself some slack and do that “one thing/day at a time” business in order to sanely get through it all. I will make it to the other side. And the other side will be a very fantastic place to be.

I know I have 3 girl kitties, but taking care of Tink (photos/video will appear, let’s FOCUS people) has made me psyched about getting a boy kitty. I hope that boy kitty realizes what he’s getting into… Ripley will glare, hiss, and bop him on the head then tumble him. Georgie will lick him then jump on his head. Allie will rip him a new asshole then go cower from him. Ahhhhh, good times, good times.

I have not mailed my Infragard application yet. Know why? Because I don’t have an envelope big enough to send the application. What kind of fucked up reason is that? Poppy! GO GET A FUCKING ENVELOPE!!! (elevator music) Envelope acquired! See???

That’s one big. ass. envelope.

I am seeing my friends Essdy and His Lovely Wife this coming weekend. (Notice how I always call the wives of my guy friends His Lovely Wife? I won’t tell you why, but I have a reason. I enjoy being the way I am.) Their dog Molly is a jumper. This will be the first time I’ve been to their house in… probably a year, at least. HLW is pregnant with twins! I totally called the genders, two girls.

Next weekend (the one after this coming weekend) I hope to go to Break Boy’s and His Lovely Wife’s house. If Dawg is in town he will be the guest of honor. :winks: I am excited for Dawg to meet a few people, but Break Boy is highest on the friends list. Break Boy will get us drunk. Break Boy will make Dawg play GH3 (as in, he’ll trick Dawg into wanting to play it). We will end up staying up until two in the morning (that’s late for France) playing GH3 drunk. We will stay over. We will wake up to birds chirping and pancakes (or waffles). It will be fanfuckingtastic. AND there’s a Dunkin Donuts on the way to their house, so Dawg can have his large French vanilla ice coffee, light with cream and 4 Splendas. :love:

I would like it to be May.

The end.

We could hurry this along and that’d be fine by me, thanks, cuz I hafta pee.

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Belinda Carlisle (not Poppy) I stayed up until past 2:00am because my mind couldn’t settle down. That hasn’t happened on a non-weekend night since January. It means I am excited about something. :smiles:

I am not looking forward to 11:00am this Saturday and I will actually have several people on standby in case things go very, very wrong. In fact, I would not be surprised if things went very, very wrong given the proximity of this event to another event. I am most likely making something out of nothing, but better to be paranoid than unprepared. I would be less cryptic but …well, you know me.

I am looking forward to everything before and after that one event of the weekend. I am also looking very much forward to next Thursday afternoon as well as the 10 days following that day. Vacation, all I ever wanted / vacation, had to get away. (I think I’m Belinda Carlisle. It happens.)

Every single dish in my home is dirty. I’ve had other things to focus on. I’m just proud that, despite all those dirty dishes, I’m still eating solid dinners. Last night was cottage cheese, pickles, potato skins, and string cheese! (what?)

I am cold. I hate being cold. In like a lion… (I’m a leo, you know. rawr.)

Posted on March 4th 2008 in Administrivia, Blogging, Life, Miscellaneous T

Quickies

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Georgie is licking the floor. She does that.

I got my hair done. Not quite as dark as last time, but just as fucking sexy.

I am absolutely certain my stylist is preggers so while she was standing next to me with her belly in my face I was silently screaming, “hi, baby!!” through her bulky go-go dancer dress. (Yes, she was wearing the go-go dancer boots too. HAWT.)

I hate being the bearer of news that changes people’s lives forever in a “well, hmm, that’s not great for me, could we undo that?” way. It sucks hard and breaks my heart a little. I had to break some yesterday and I’m lucky I didn’t start bawling.

Break Boy with X Speaking of breaks, I love playing GH3 with Break Boy. I hope we’re still playing face-off side-by-side when we’re old and senile. I also love it when he tries to body check me out of the way to mess me up when I’m winning, because as Essdy (my made up name for the other guy there) can attest to, my low center of gravity throws off Break Boy’s big self even when he sees me making my strike. I suck at estimating weight, but I know he’s at least 2.5 times heavier than I am (he’s a giant), and that’s a conservative guesstimate.

I played the open source version of Dance Dance Revolution last night. Let’s just say I look “extra special” when I’m trying to dance.

Break Boy is a vegetarian. Has been since we were in college. He switched for His Lovely Wife who became a vegetarian in high school after cutting off one too many chicken heads on the family farm. Yesterday I got us garlic pizza to eat while we rocked out. My car still smells like garlic. So does my breath, and yet the kitties still keep giving me kisses.

My brain is racing at a million miles a minute. It has too much to think about. I don’t see this changing anytime soon. I love it when my mind races, but you all may not be able to hold on for the ride. Sorry in advance. (Not really. You like all parts of me or you don’t, but I’m English so I apologize anyway and mutter “fucker” under my breath. :winks: )

“Painful” is now a quantitative distance measurement. I’ve filed it with Webster’s and British Parliament. So, the next time someone asks you “how far is it from Canada to Australia?” you can answer “it’s Painful.”

I really should have gone to the grocery store on the way home from getting my hair done but I didn’t feel like it. I’m now on my last soda. Fuck. Soda and weekends go together, dammit. Time to send Ripley to the store with a note from Mama (me) that she’s old enough to buy some. See, I have milk, water, cider, iced coffee, beer, and hard lemonade in the fridge, but that’s just not gonna cut it.

Ripley is making biscuits on my chest. I :pinkpuffyheart: when she does that. Allie is glaring at her because she wishes she were making biscuits on me even though she doesn’t know how.

I called Georgie “O-N-G” when I got home. I just kept saying it over and over. There’s no reason why, I don’t even know what ONG stands for, but this is precisely why each cat has about 15 nicknames. When I can’t remember their names they are “Bunny” and when I can remember who they are they get one of their 15 very own names. When I am feeling extra love they are “Pretty Princess” or “Bunny”. So, … yah. I am inconsistent.

I miss my boy. Ow.

Now I’ve dorked out.

kbai