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Category archives for It's story time!

November 3, 2008

seasons in the sun

I know everyone wants photos of the party, but I didn't take any. I was too busy being dressed up as a geeky Princess Leia who killed a storm trooper, hence the bloody hands, so instead I offer the Avitaween 2008 group photos to you. This weekend was incredibly amazing. I think it topped other blogger group events for me because of the close bonds I formed with so many people. Also, I got felt up by Hilly despite the No Touching the Poppy rule.

And now for a condensed recap.

– begin weekend –

Fly to Orlando.
Go to Hilton and check in many, many hours earlier.
Learn there is a Star Trek convention in the hotel.
Take a nap. A sleeping nap. Only sleeping. Sleepy sleep.
Wake up and eat hotel food.
Receive txt from Brad that we shouldn't eat the hotel food.
Meet up with bloggers (Janelle, Sheila, Becky, Karl, Christine, Crys, Delmer, Turnbaby, Brad, Mikey/LeSombre, Dawg, and me) for drinks at the hotel bar, drinks and steak and coconut coated onion rings at Bahama Breeze, more drinks at the bar and invitation to see the Star Trek vendor show a day early.
Bedtime that involved more than sleep, but no stories necessary.
Wake up, eat a pound of bacon for breakfast at hotel buffet.
Go to the Elephant Bar to meet Jen from For the Birds and her husband Andy to eat vegetable stir fry with tofu, shop for geeky boots and Dawg's costume, and buy pantyhose.
Go see Zack and Miri Make a Porno with many people (I didn't care for it, surprisingly).
Rush to the hotel to prep for the party.
Go to the party to see old friends, meet new friends, drink too much, eat too little (RSVP NEXT YEAR, PEOPLE! OR THE FOOD DOESN'T LAST LONG ENOUGH! :pfft: ), and sing karaoke.
Go home with Finn and Mister M at 3:00am.
Have a very good bedtime. (A very good bedtime. Wow. World rocked. whee!)
Wake up early, realize time change means it's even earlier, txt Mikey about eating breakfast.
Eat breakfast with Mikey, Christine, Dawg.
Say bye to friends.
Go to airport… or try to anyway and wait 20 extra minutes in traffic because of two bad accidents due to rain.
Get to airport to change our 8:55pm flight to a 5:30pm flight — success!
Eat chicken fettucine alfredo and chicken parm at Macaroni Grill in the airport.
Go home.
More happy bedtime before my first day of work.

– end weekend –

I had my first day at work today. It went swimmingly. I am the first female IT Guy to be hired there. I had a turkey sandwich and Utz honey barbecue chips for lunch. I tried to shoe shop for an hour and a half before work but never found a shoe store. Ummmmm… I watched some crazy bitch yell at a pregnant woman in the production area. I took the sardine can from W 53 St/Broadway to 71 Ave for steak dinner and it took a veeeeeeeeeery long time to get there because the train before our train was busted so twice as many people were trying to load onto our train then we had to wait for the busted train to get off the track. Still couldn't find a shoe place. I have a new laptop! And an ID card that doesn't have my photo on it. I'm getting my Blackberry tomorrow, presumably. I need to decorate my workspace. I now have a cube instead of an office with a door but it's huge and I get to listen to fun conversations all day so I'm actually happy about it. I think I mentioned that I have a boyfriend about 167 billion times today.

I still enjoy riding the subway.

Please vote. It's the law. :smiles:

Thank you soooooo much to Adam and Amy and everyone who helped with the preparations. The party was fanfuckingtastic!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HILLY! :pinkpuffyheart: :pinkpuffyheart: :pinkpuffyheart: :pinkpuffyheart:

October 29, 2008

The day the Most Popular Girl in School became a Whino

Stop me if you've heard this one already, but I don't think I've told this story before…

Back in high school I was one of those girls who had one clique of people I felt most comfortable with, the computer people, but I hopped between cliques with complete ease. In the computer people clique, once I was the oldest member because NAT and Knitting Mama (my new name for Break Boy's Lovely Wife, I have just decided) and all the other old people had graduated already, I was the queen of the clique. I was The Most Popular Girl in that circle. I was looked up to, I was coveted, I was protected, I was awed. I'm not kidding, it was my reality. I was also the head SysOp for the raddest BBS in the state, which definitely helped with my Geek Street Cred.

My senior year of high school I was in a few more cliques than usual: The music clique, the National Honors Society clique (*shrug*), and the yearbook clique. I was one of two layout people for our senior yearbook, and because I was a geek but also had an eye for what looks good I was very awesome at layout. I would spend hours and hours getting layouts to line up just right, I'd consult with the photogs and the writers to discuss how they wanted their masterpieces actualized, and I would Make It Happen.

One day I was on a break from doing layouts, drinking a soda from the teacher's lounge (thanks to our teacher for letting us break in all the time). Becky, the Most Popular Girl in School, was in the yearbook room with me. One thing to know: You don't get into the yearbook room unless you're part of the yearbook staff or one of the staff members lets you in to hang out with them. That year I personally thought Becky's social status was declining. She had chosen to date a younger guy who was technically in our grade but… uh, he wanted to join the circus. That's cool! in adult life, but in high school that doesn't help you fit in with everyone else. So, I'm sitting around with Becky and she just bursts out with the following statement and follow-up question:

"It must be SO NICE to not be popular so that you don't have to deal with the stress of it. Is it nice to not be popular??"

I pulled my head up off the desk it was on and looked around behind me with an "are you talking to me, about me?" look on my face. Surely she could not have meant me!! I AM popular! I am the queen of my castle! I am who everyone wants to hang out with! I am the one everyone comes to for advice about their problems and to listen to their deepest, darkest secrets. I am the one everyone asks to the prom and wants to date! … in that one room in school where no one else goes but Little Computer People, unless it's for a class assignment, but STILL!

There was no one else in the room with us; she was talking to me.

I didn't know how to convey this to her, to explain to her that it's all about perspective, that it's her choice to keep the social status she has, that she had just insulted me to my core by presuming that I am not popular in any venue of life, and that saying such a thing should have merited a smack to her little perfect-to-everyone-else-but-never-was-to-me face. And, if I was so unpopular, why had I been over to her house before? The true Social Rejects did not get invited to Becky's House. But I digress. Back to me, people. I'm insulted here. Truly insulted. And what did I do to respond to her comment? I shrugged and mumbled, "I dunno" and left it at that. But then I left the room and started gossiping to my friend about how Becky couldn't hack being a Popular Person.

Pretty soon we all graduated and she got the shocking news that she wasn't popular anymore. Real Life was a lot tougher for her. She tried to be a singer, tried to get into commercials, but she had no success. I saw her at the doctor's office a few years after graduation. She looked tired and worn out and humbled. And she was dressed in dirty, raggy clothes that made her look like a drunk homeless person. And I'm sorry to say this made me happy that my favorite motto really does come true: What goes around comes around.

Sing it, Justin!

I love ending my posts on a dorky note. :grins:

October 24, 2008

I know we're in a hurry, but…

I was driving to my pharmacy to pick up my prescription (went without a hitch, not the point of the story) and saw a man curled up in the road and a teal car about 2 feet from him. I am filling in the blanks that the teal car hit the man, although I don't know that. When I came to the scene that I did not witness there were no emergency responders there yet. Traffic was starting to back up in the lane where the teal car and man on the ground were. Nothing for me to do except move along little lady since I didn't witness it so I went to McDonald's for a Coke then CVS for my prescription. After talking to the pharmacist about my insurance information I left the store for a few minutes while she put together my order. While I was out there the traffic situation had gone from bad to worse and people were laying on their horns. I don't mean "beep beep," I mean New Yorker "HOOOOOOOOOO-notgettingoffthishornuntilyougetthefuckouttamyway-OOOOOOOOOOOOONK". And I really wanted to run up to those people with my "don't fuck with Poppy" face and curse them out for laying on their horn. But. Really, what good is that gonna do? Then they'd just start yelling at me about who did I think I was telling them what to do and get the fuck out of their way and some other choice words that might possibly make me open their doors and kick them in the face with my favorite running shoes. I mean, really, I could have done that. But I just sat in my car and spaced out and drank my soda and thought about how happy I was not to be that guy on the ground and maybe I should take a different way home than the way that I came.

October 11, 2008

Apparently I'm into telling stories lately.

I'm trying to stay up all night because if I do then my treat at the end is getting to sleep with my boyfriend after he finishes his volunteer overnight ambulance tour with his very good friend KC.

Yes, really, this is a treat for me. What can I say? I still enjoy getting to hug him and squeeze him and call him Dawgy, I can't help myself.

But I'm having trouble staying up all night. In fact, I don't specifically remember ever successfully staying up all night, not even the one time when I was 10 years old and my brother, who in his adulthood is one of the most incredible and awesome people in the world to me, threatened to beat me up if I fell asleep. I fell asleep. He kicked me in the head. With boots on.

Oh brother, how I miss you. I wouldn't change the past we had, but I'm certainly glad I don't have the brain damage to cause me to not remember. :winks: :hug:

October 10, 2008

Back on my good side

In my junior year of college I was still an animal science — pre-vet major so I was taking a required class called Farm Management because in Vermont you need to know how to farm, yo. In this class we all had to take a shift at the farm caring for the large animals. There was a cow rotation, a horse rotation, and a sheep rotation. We were not given an option of which animals we cared for, just a schedule planned out by our professor who also happened to be my advisor. My first rotation was the sheep. I showed up for my very first shift at 6:00am one September morning when the farm was in full swing inside, but not so much outside. I went down the hill to the sheep field and closed myself inside the fence to care for the 100 happy-go-lucky ewes … and the one ram.

The ram did not care for my arrival. He charged at me.

Luckily we had been taught in class to treat the ram like a bull and dodge him (and to show him absolutely no fear so he wouldn't charge us in the first place, but I can't help that he could smell my fear). I twirled to the ram's right side, spinning so that I would be facing the same direction as he was, took my dominant left hand (thank you, Mom, for making me left handed), and grabbed that ram's horn with all my strength. He shook his head as hard as he could to make me let go then started to try to kick at me with his front right foot. I nudged his side and didn't let go of the horn then kicked him back and yelled in my most aggressive voice, "NO!" I tried dragging him to the gate opening so that I could get out of the fenced area by myself but I needed both hands to undo the latch keeping the gate closed and as soon as I let go of the ram's horn he would try to charge me again. He got a few headbutts in before I gave up on this idea, grabbed his horn, and dropped the whole acting unscared thing, then started screaming "HEEEEEEEELP!" as louldly as I could.

There was no one around outside to hear me. Cows were cared for inside, far from the sheep field, and no one had arrived yet to care for the horses. I was completely alone with 100 ewes ready to be mounted and one very pissed off ram who didn't want any competition for his ladies.

Ten minutes in I saw the TA for our class smoking a cigarette at the top of the hill. She heard me screaming. She looked down the hill at me. She turned away and kept smoking her cigarette. She finished her cigarette. She sauntered down. She asked me what was wrong. I pointed at the ram. She didn't understand. I told her to open the gate and help me out of there. As soon as she opened the gate the ram charged at the gate so hard that he broke free from my hand. I ended up outside the gate and Miss "I Value a Good Morning Smoke More Than Helping Someone Who Might Be Dying" ended up inside the fenced area trying to dodge the ram.

[Insert nasty tirade that includes the words 'cuntiferous bitch got what she deserved' here.]

I dropped the class the next day. I hated rams from that day forward. Until Wednesday when I saw this commercial…

…and loudly giggled my tiny little head off. YAR. The ram is now good with me. Next time he should just ask for my gum, though.

October 9, 2008

oceanside

When I was a kid my mom and I had a lot of fun during the summers, alternating between New York and Maine. I have my New York stories, but this one is about Maine.

In my early teen years summers were spent in the car with Mom riding to the Ogunquit-Kittery-Wells-Long/Short Sands-York Beach area of Maine. We would pitch a tent at a luxurious campsite (there were bathrooms, a snack bar, and billiards), then we would spend the days doing stuff.

Movies at the old movie house — The Witches of Eastwick for … my 13th birthday?
Plays at the Ogunquit Playhouse — La cage aux folles, anyone?
Freshly pulled taffy from the sweets shop.
Walks on the beach, hypnotized by the ocean sights and sounds.
Fried foods from the restaurant on the beach and pizza from the corner shop across from…
The York Beach Zoo.
Tourist stores ("souvenir shops") where we bought junky t-shirts, one of which I wore for a class pose in my 8th grade yearbook.
Visits to lighthouses because I adore them.
Just driving around looking at whatever…

Whenever we drove around I always had music in my mom's tape deck or in my walkman, preferably Def Leppard or something hardish, and I would be reading novel after novel after novel. I distinctly remember listening to the Hysteria album and reading Jaws while Mom drove me around in the Nissan Sentra.

Summers in Maine were a blast. It was my favorite vacation spot.

Back in college I had a meltdown over my boyfriend leaving the country to attend school abroad. School was really stressful, lots of science classes that I would later understand were just not my best subjects, so my mom and stepdad graciously gave me their motel room across the street from the (Long?) Sands beach ocean that they had reserved as a getaway weekend for them. I went to the motel, plopped down on the bed, and watched TV. And then I wandered across the street and walked the beach over and over then just sat down and stared at the ocean for a really long time. I came home refreshed and depressed. :smiles:

A couple years later in college life I dated a boy who had never been to that area of Maine, so one day we hopped in my car and I drove us there. We looked at the ocean and I drove us back. He was an ungrateful person, and I am convinced he just dated me because I could get him alcohol and I had a car. I wasted my favorite spot on him.

After college I dated my ex who had never been to Maine, period, so one day we hopped in his car and we drove us there. We found the very last motel room available on the ocean Sands strip, at the exact same motel where Mom and Stepdad had given me a room years earlier. I'm not sure he enjoyed it as much as I always do, but a couple years later when we got married he agreed to us honeymooning there. We went to the York Beach Zoo and I was bit by a deer who didn't believe I had no more food pellets to dole out. Deer bites really hurt, by the way.

I haven't returned to that area of Maine since my honeymoon in August, 2000. I am now farther away. I miss it, but the memory I keep in my head that makes me miss it is that time in the car with Mom, Def Leppard blasting in my ears and Jaws in my lap. I can't recreate that time, so I'm not going to try anymore to do that.

But that doesn't mean I wouldn't mind going again and creating new memories.

September 26, 2008

PINCH me, S'MAC me, but NO TOUCHING the Poppy.


PINCH ME, S'MAC me, but NO TOUCHING the Poppy!!!~!~!! from Poppy Cede on Vimeo.

Watch the whole video (comma dammit).

PINCH & S'MAC
The pizza
The mac & cheese

Earl
Finn
Neil
The Halloween party

September 12, 2008

Beauty Queens, Queens, Subways, and Tower Power

Look! I'm on my new iMac! With internet! w00t!

On to the post…

Picture this: It's yesterday. I was in bed at 4:00pm, having just woken up from a 2 hour nap, sore all over from the walk 2 blocks then climb 6.5 flights up with my 12-pound iMac (oh, shush, that's heavy when you have to carry it for all that way! :pfft: ), exhausted from having woken up at 4:15am for no apparent reason other than I wanted to spend a little time on the laptop to give you the update update update, then a bit of time with Dawg before he had a really long day, wondering how the hell I would ever be able to get out of bed again, when my phone rang.

Not the Nokia Tune ring I have set for when Dawg calls, but the Ringtone 1 ring that everyone else on the planet is set for when they call. I hastily grabbed my phone with the intention of shutting it up, assuming it was some employer who found my resume on Dice or Monster, out to tease me with the prospect of a job that is completely outside my skillset (are they reading the same resume I am?) or completely below my skillset (um, if I went to college in 1992 then I assure you I'm not looking for an entry level, fresh out of college, "let me teach you what a mouse is, little girl" job).

But, nope. The display read: Britt. "Holy crap, what the hell is she calling me for?!" I quickly answered in as unsleepy a voice as I could feign: "Hey, Britt." And then Britt proceeded to ask me questions about getting from Queens to Manhattan and "what is this Jamaica, New York they keep talking about?!" (*giggle*). As if the phone is for just asking people questions, not delivering bad news or catching up after not talking for a really long time… just, everyday functional.

That Britt, she's an extrovert.

If I had wanted to call Britt, not txt, but CALL her about something it would have taken me three days to get up the courage, then I would have emailed and txted her that I wanted to call her, intended to call her, and exactly the time and date that I would be calling her, before I actually called her. Because I, dear internets, am an introvert. And this one time when I was 3 (three) I made my first phone call to my Crazy Aunt Val but my Mean Uncle Ron (no longer grumpy for reasons I won't bother getting into) intercepted the call and flat out refused to accept that my three-year-old self was in any way related to a woman he was married to. Or, maybe he was comfy in his chair with his beer and pretzels and Judge Whopner and didn't feel like yelling up the stairs, "VAL, PHONE CALL!" Anyway, trauma achieved after trying to call him twice then my mom took the phone and called and chewed out both my uncle and my aunt, blah blah blah, I hate the phone.

(A small pause in the story to say: I absolutely adore my new keyboard. It's perfect for my fingers, and the keys are a perfect height off the keyboard, and the keyboard itself is so light and [not fluffy, but... airy] in my lap.)

So, the reason Britt called was that she was trying to decide if, when she comes to have her glorious Hot Blogger Calendar photo session in Manhattan, she will stay in a hotel in Manhattan or try to save some money by staying in Queens, but she was concerned about how to get around. My best advice as a previous tourist, now semi-quasi-New Yorker, only legitimized by my name on a lease and on two utility bills, is if she stays outside of Manhattan to make sure any hotel she does stay at is right near a subway entrance. Not having grown up here, I find the subway absolutely simple to use. You ask a New Yorker how to use the subway and they give you this crazy story that in the end confuses you worse than if you had just read a map yourself, as if they don't actually understand how to use the subway (they do; they just don't explain it well to the non-locals). It's ok if you're at a stop serviced by a "local only" subway — you just find where the local subway crosses with a major subway line into Manhattan and you (*gasp*) transfer to the other train at that stop.

An example: Last week I took the Woodhaven Boulevard V train, a local service only route, to the Roosevelt Avenue stop, then the doors of the subway car opened on the other side from where I entered the car to a cross-platform stop so that I could literally walk across that platform directly onto another train, thus completing my transfer from the local V train to the E train. I took the E train to 14th Street at 8th Avenue, and walked the rest of my way to where I was going, a few blocks East and a block South (very easy for someone who isn't directionally challenged like myself, but I got there alright).

I have some other tips, too, so let's summarize the first tip plus this one:

1. As mentioned, make sure to stay at a hotel that is near a subway entrance.

2. Have a fold-up map of the subway system with you at all times. Try not to open it up obviously and look like a tourist unless you want someone following you off the train when you get off, but, do what ya gotta do to read the map.

3. Estimate how many times you think you'll need to get onto the subway after exiting to the road surface, add 3, then buy a Metro card for that number of times. They can be purchased at subway entrances or stores that advertise that they sell Metro cards. I personally have only bought them in the subway stations so far. If you don't use all the trips you purchased before you leave New York then hold onto it if you think you're coming back within a reasonable amount of time, give it to a friend who lives in New York, or tape a note to the card that says "there are # number of trips left on this card, I'm paying it forward. Please enjoy!" and tape it to a phone booth… or, if you really have time to waste, just stand at the subway turnstyle entrance/exit and wait for someone who thought they had another trip on their Metro card to get the big red NOPE! signal to letting them through, then just run your card through. Instant karma!

4. If you are lost, completely and utterly, ask a stranger to help you. Use your Spidey sense about which stranger, and even then you can get it wrong, so be ready for a fight or flight response, but generally strangers are actually helpful in New York. If you can't find a stranger you "trust" then ask someone who works at the subway entrance. There are subway workers on both sides of the turnstyle, so even if you're already in the subway you can still ask someone.

5. If you get a weird vibe about the subway car you're in then move to a different one. If that's not a possibility then try to find a spot in the car where you can see as much of the action in the car as possible. I've not yet had this problem, every car I've chosen has felt nice and safe and friendly, but it will happen. It's just inevitable. Better to have a plan ahead of time than be surprised and dismayed that someone dares to make you feel uncomfortable when you're just there for peace and love.

I have lots more subway tips, but I'm gonna stick to those for now.

And I know a lot of you live in a location with a subway, have even lived in NYC or still do, so what are your best tips?

In closing, I'd just like to say I cannot wait for October 4-5, when the Hottest Bloggers in the Blogosphere all come together to make an awesome calendar and I get to see the Britters again in the city she is destined to call home.

And totally not related to Britt at all, I'd like to make a small comment about my first experience with a September 11th in New York City. I happened to be at Dawg's parents' house for the morning waiting for my iMac to arrive. I was sitting on the couch watching the 9/11 ceremony coverage, and every time there was a moment of silence I would burst into tears and start talking to Yum . I didn't know her at all, I just know about her from what Dawg shares, but I suddenly had a new appreciation for the sacrifice she made on 9/11/01. I waited and waited and waited for her name to be read: Yamel Josefina Merino. A beautiful picture of her was displayed, one that showed her full of life. And instead of bursting into tears again I just smiled, happy that she was again being honored, gone but never forgotten. To some people 9/11/01 means nothing. To some people 9/11/01 means the world. Let us accept and respect our differences in perspective and not criticize people on the other side of the fence from us for feeling differently than we do about that day.

And as I excitedly txted a bunch of you last night, Dawg and I went to see the Tribute in Light(s) last night. I tried my best to get an awesome photo of them, but didn't quite succeed. I got a very blurry artistic shot which you can view here. Dawg has better ones. He might upload them someday, but they might be for his personal collection. Time will tell.

September 5, 2008

one night stands don't always end badly

On the fateful day of June 12, 2005 the ECW held an entertainment event called One Night Stand. Veeeeery comfortable padded folding chairs were made for this event. Dawg happened to obtain one of said chairs to keep for his personal collection.

Fast forward to September 5, 2008 where Poppy has taken the 6.12.05 ECW One Night Stand chair to the apartment that she and Dawg now share together but haven't quite moved into. Poppy is continuing to prep the apartment for their imminent arrival. The Clorox wipes Poppy is using to clean the apartment are almost used up so she takes the top off the canister to be able to pull the last of the wipes out which snagged at the small opening of the canister.

While holding the canister of wipes in one hand and one of the individual wipes in her other hand, and precariously balancing herself on said One Night Stand chair, Poppy catches a glimpse of a magazine cut-out on the top shelf of the linen closet she is wiping down. She leans over a bit to reach the cut-out, takes it down, and stares at it. It is a photo of Melina Kanakaredes who plays Detective Stella Bonasera on "CSI: NY"*. As Poppy considers that there might possibly be semen or other disgusting-to-touch boldily fluids on this photo, considering where she finds it, she suddenly hears a splashing sound.

She looks down to watch in horror as Clorox wipes fluid is pouring out of the canister onto the 6.12.05 ECW One Night Stand chair. And suddenly Poppy believes in God and begs, "oh please, oh please, don't let the chair be ruined!!!!" She jumps down from the chair, throws down the canister, wipe, and photo in the bathroom sink, yanks the paper towels from underneath said sink, and quickly wipes down the chair. And magically the angels sing and birds chirp and sunshine fills the entire hall and nothing bad has happened to the chair, yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!, oh thank goodness Poppy doesn't have to make one of those "I'm soooooo sorry, babe, but I did something bad" phone calls.

And then Poppy reads the canister: Bleach Free.

Those Clorox people are smart. :smiles:


*There was another magazine cut-out photo of a random blonde up on that shelf in the linen closet. We won't be using that shelf.

June 26, 2008

cat hats and "love" taps

This video is of Cat of 1000 faces:

It should make you giggle. Especially the cowboy hat.


This video response is of me telling you about times I was spanked in my childhood:

It should make you think. And have something to say.