To everyone who voted for me for Hot Blogger Calendar: Thank you.
It’s more about your support than it is about the win. I have no idea if I did win, since voting is through today, I just want you to know that I genuinely appreciate your efforts.
Life is good when good friends and family surround me. :)
This morning I received an email from a very dear friend who said she might maybe need my help. It turns out that she expressed frustration for a new work policy in a department-wide discussion list thread and both her direct supervisor and the division supervisor chose to take offense to her expression, chose to see it as insubordination, and will be having a meeting with her this coming week to discuss her behavior.
Other people in the same division chose to also express their disdain with the unclear policy via that same list but they received no suggestion of recourse or reprimand.
Her context is that she is both a boss and a worker bee because where she works everyone is always overextended and dual-purposed at the very least. And the policy that was being put into place directly affected the group she manages while she’s wearing her Boss Hat. So… It’s odd to me that she would be singled out as the only person who can’t speak freely about her opinions and customer-side resulting effects of the new policy.
I am fantasizing about taking a day off from work to show up on the doorstep of the office where the meeting will be held with my dear friend and the two bosses. I’ll just say, “I am Ms. Awesome’s counsel” then I’ll take a seat next to her, pull out my Netbook, and begin typing. I won’t say a damn thing for the whole meeting, just raise my eyebrows and shake my head disapprovingly as they make their case for her insubordination while none of the other members of the policy peanut gallery received so much as a mention of their disapproving words. But I won’t wear my high-heeled boots, perfect for stomping on People of Power who choose to admonish those with an opinion that differs from their own. Because if I did? They’d shit twice and die. And who wants to accidentally kill people who should live to suffer through a strong woman’s continued opinions of their poor policy making decisions.
I personally am frustrated with the idea of disapproval of a poorly thought through policy as insubordination and would really like your comments on the subject. Some of you are bosses and some of you are worker bees. If a “worker bee” expresses their dislike of a new policy and you don’t like how s/he words the expression of their thoughts… what do you do? If you’re a worker bee, have you ever been reprimanded? What’d you do about it?
I will very soon be blogging on a much more regular basis but for now I’ll dump my brain onto you.
Happy birthday, Vahid!
On the way to work this morning I almost finished the book I was reading. Rather than being able to enjoy another book down I was sad that I would no longer be in its world. It wasn’t a great book, moved between tenses, both historically and pronounally, too frequently for my taste. When I finally told myself to just please get over this I found the ending to be the best part of the book and was really glad I stopped letting my eyes scan the page as I lamented the book’s passing.
At work I learned that Chris Livingston passed away. I don’t know him and I don’t know what happened, but a lot of people I care about knew him and were very sad because of his passing, and I truly feel sad for my friends because they hurt in a way that I cannot help them not hurt. I can just sit by and say sorry.
Speaking of friends… I was all complainy last week that everyone pulled away from me after Avitaweekend, that no one seems to care about me anymore wah wah wah except a select few people. And then I realized I equally pulled away from everyone who was there and our culpability is shared. So, hi friends. I miss you and am thinking about you a lot even though we don’t get to hang out and party and eat meals and joke about whatever enters our minds.
And there are other friends who weren’t at the party who I felt were slipping away: One, I think, is trying to get me to be the bad guy and break ties. One wants me to be in her life but lunchtime is a very tough time for me to hang out (hi :). One I accused of ditching me but she didn’t and then I got busy and stopped writing her. After I write this post I’m going to respond again because I have stuff to say. Oh, and one friend told me something I wasn’t ready to hear and can’t quite reciprocate, for reasons that go far deeper than anything between us. I just have my trust issues and I try as hard as I can to offer as much trust as I can, but the end result is… a lopsided friendship with people. It’s the best I can do. I hope you continue to love me anyway. And then there’s this other friend who hangs out with me and is awesome and gets cupcakes with me and then she asks me how the cupcakes are and I tell her “I had one, it was ok.” heh. This amuses only me, doesn’t it. I love that I can be honest with her, is my point.
Back to today.
On the way home the same man was on the 4:45pm train as had been on that train Friday. He yells at the top of his lungs, “IF YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY YOU’LL GIVE ME MONEY *pointing his fucking STARBUCKS cup at you* YOU DON’T LOVE YOUR FAMILY?! YOU HATE YOUR FAMILY?! WHEN THEY DIE YOU WON’T CARE, YOU WON’T LOVE THEM! YOU DON’T LOVE YOUR FAMILY ENOUGH TO GIVE ME A PENNY *throwing a penny at an unsuspecting bench sitter* TAKE THE PENNY, I DON’T WANT IT, YOU FAMILY HATER!” It scares the shit out of some people, but even when he is standing directly behind me screaming his diatribe all I’m thinking is “I really should start screaming, ‘if you love your families you WON’T give me ANY money because you’ll save it for THEM and put food on THEIR table instead of THIS Starbucks fake motherfucker! What, WHAT!’” but I just smile and chuckle and keep it to myself and guard the scared people with my body. It’s what I do. I just don’t have appropriate fear levels for given situations, I’ve concluded.
And directly after Repeat Man we got a new lady charging through the car not holding onto anything screaming that she didn’t want any money, “no pennies, no nickels, no quarters, no dollars” (guess dimes don’t exist in Crazy Town) but that Jesus hates us. Which reminded me that my favorite word for today that I made up but probably already exists is Jeez-ass, which I wrote to Partner in Crime in response to some message he sent me about the sad state of affairs back home within our common location. Cryptic much, yup. But … Jeez-ass! Isn’t that lovely? It is.
It was a rare occasion tonight. Because I was going to the store I chose to turn off my music and walk from the train to the store, listening instead to the sounds of the city so that I would remember to go to the store. When I took out my earbuds I was still riding the last leg of the train and I was reminded why I love the train so much. Perfectly quiet humans listening with me to the soothing sound of the train.
In the store a woman didn’t realize she was blocking the entrance to the store and the hand carts. When she realized she was doing this she scooted herself to the side to let a soldier in his desert fatigues pass by then she stood up and handed me a hand cart. I was so surprised, I burst out laughing, smiled, and said thank you. And then I heard her continue her conversation en español and wished I had at least “graciad” in return. (No s’s. Gracia.)
On the way home I watched a little girl in a tiny little dress and coat skipping along next to her mom while she sang Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi at the top of her lungs. Cutest version EVAR. I laughed out loud.
A little further along my path home 3 teenagers were spanning the entire width of the double-wide sidewalk. I was walking with no earphones toward them with three grocery shopping bags chock full of heavy items and my work bag slung over my shoulder. I slowed down a little bit, but they parted just enough for me to turn sideways through, and as I did one of them dared to test out his manlihood on me by saying, “heeeeeey, Miss [inaudible].” He couldn’t quite keep that courage level going as I pushed through him and his friend to continue on my way. I… think I might possibly be intimidating. In Vermont the only men who cat call at you are your friends. In New York City you’re not A Real Man if you don’t cat call by 12. It’s an interesting culture difference. I wish I had said something like, “nice try, we’ll give it another go on Tuesday *wink*” or something funny but I just spent a little too long trying to decipher what he had said after “Miss”. It sounded like Hershey, but we all know I’m not Hershey. I’m all vanilla and stuff.
The word count was at 1179 before this line. I think that’s pretty good. Can’t wait to see you all more consistently again. :)
PS – Ripley says hi!
I went to this party a couple-few weeks ago and the studio photos are finally up.
One of the very best photos is not shown, and that makes me sad. Mew… *sniffle* BUT there are a lot of amazing ones and you can live vicariously through the photo set or relive the party if you were there with me.
Also, this Dylan’s Candy Bar rocky road cupcake I got with Robin?
Pretty damn good.
Today Dawg and I are travelling to the East to hang out with the lovely Miss Bellaventa. We will go to Dylan’s Candy Bar where there is a Saturday cupcake bar, we will shop for boots (while Dawg goes off to do Man Stuff), and we will eat and, presumably, Chipotle’s.
I am SQUEE for this.
I was once told by someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally (but didn’t, couldn’t) that I was not supposed to think I am awesome or say out loud that I am awesome, that was his job. Thankfully, by the time he told me this I’d already decided we just weren’t right for each other and we’d be better off going our separate ways, better off for everyone involved. I can only hope he’s met some other women since our time together who know they’re as awesome as I generally tend to think I am so that he understands a strong minded woman isn’t a threat and isn’t something to beat down until she hates herself for loving you.
But my point is that it’s hard for me to have a day where I don’t think I’m awesome because it makes me feel like I’ve had a maaaaaaajor setback.
I can’t go back to that place I was at, hating myself every day and generally feeling not good enough. I won’t let me. And thanks to everyone who helped me through that day because I truly do appreciate you for doing that. I might be all Beyoncé independent, throwin’ my hands up at ya, but I still need my friends when I feel low. So, awesome job everyone who helped me through, you rock.
To show my gratification I offer you my Chinese Mexican half-black bean, half-chili nachos with extra jalapeño peppers. NOM!
If you were in Florida this weekend hanging out for the same reason I was you may have noticed I didn’t say goodbye.
I hate goodbyes.
They imply I’m never seeing you again, and that you AREN’T just a blog away, a tweet away, an email away, a photo away, a facebook status away, a txt message away from me.
And I just can’t have that, so HI AGAIN! :)
This is my weekend recap post. Each and every thing that happened this weekend is equally as important as the others, so I’ll be brief-ish about all of them so that I don’t cry all over while I write.
Thursday afternoon Dawg and I took a plane to Orlando. We rented a car and drove it to the Altamonte Springs Hilton, checked in, settled in our room, then had dinner with (you know who I mean if you were at the party) The Photographer. She goes by a couple names, but she visits here as Mew. We went to Five Guys for dinner with her, her puddin’, her photographer sidekick, and a man that is seriously Adam Avitable’s doppelgänger despite neither of them seeing that in the other. Apparently last year Dawg and I met ALL of these people at the party, but we met Mew and Baby J when we were sober, whereas we met Local 23 and Han Solo Ringmaster at last year’s party while we were in the vertical blackout stage. This year meeting them sober was an absolute treat and I now consider this pack of unruly nerds my very good friends even if they don’t consider me their very good friends back. I mean, c’mon, after sharing Five Guys together we BONDED over butterscotch Jello pudding pop ice cream at Coldstone Creamery!!!! And the irony of this gathering is that both Mew and I thought the other person didn’t want anyone else to show up to the event so we were keeping it secret from everyone, but turns out we were only doing that to appease the other, so next year we will have A HuGe MewPopstar GaTHerIng and it will be wonderful!!! At Five Guys Mew mentioned that Adam had invited us back to his place for a sneak peek at the party decor so we went to his home to check everything out. Poppy approved. I even made some modifications to the Booze List which made it on there, despite it only benefiting me and his lovely wife Amy, which I will mention in the Saturday section. Back at the hotel we had Last Call drinks at the bar with Mikey! Although the remodel of the hotel is beautiful it irks every single one of us that the bar CLOSES at 12am, so let’s fix that for next year. (Actually, don’t bother, the new hotel hot spot for next year will be somewhere else, it is rumored. ;) At the very last few minutes of bar talk we saw Bella and Rachel slink in from their night with Hilly and Dave2 so we hung out a bit before retiring to bed with our sippy cups of beer.
Friday was breakfast of champions from the hotel coffee shop. The woman behind the counter made me an 8-shot espresso but charged me $2 for a regular coffee instead of $16 like she should have, so I gave her a $2 tip then Dawg and I went to Downtown Disney to meet up with Hilly, Floating Princess, and Karen Sugarpants for lunch at RagLan Road, churros at the Italian Ice cart, soap gazing at Basin, and Lego watching at the Lego store. I love Snackie AND Lisa, but it was revealed at lunch that Ms. Sugarpants and I had exACTly the same costume idea for Avitaween, so durrrrrrrrrrr I bonded instantly with her and now she’s my lifelong border babe friend and I can say nothing wrong about that woman ever ever EVAR. Then the ladies departed and Dawg and I shopped at the World of Disney store where I purchased a $50+ brown hoodie that appropriately says GRUMPY on it. After Downtown we went to the hotel for a little lay down then we went secretly to Publix and back to Coldstone Creamery where we bought tw cakes and two packages of cupcakes then headed to Faiqa and Tariq’s (yo, it’s pronounced thar-ick, not streety hood TAR-EEEK) where we got to see Baby Y!!!! as well as (oh boy, no pictures of this, so let’s try to remember everyone) Britt, Jared, Emma, Devin, Robin, Rachel, Ren, Marci, Heather, Tyler, Hilly, Dave2, Lisa, Karen, Becky, Finn, Mister, Stephen and Marianne (non-blogging friends of Tariq), and… um, who’dileaveout?! at which we had delicious food prepared by Faiqa then had cake and ice cream cupcakes and a beautiful dessert prepared by Faiqa in celebration of SPARKY’S 39th BIRTHDAY, SURPRISE! Not that she was surprised, she kinda figured it out when Robin asked her what her favorite cake is, but I don’t care, I was still happy we got to celebrate. At the end of this event we all sat in a big circle and made silly jokes and it was a wonderful bonding experience. Then we went back to the hotel where we saw (oh boy, I hope I remember) Adam, Blondefabulous, Employee 3699 (whose name I know but not sure I’m allowed to share), Employee’s daughter (whose name I know but not sure I’m allowed to share), and Kim!!! And Mikey and LW wandered in after their Blue’s Traveler concert, then Brad and Turnbaby wandered in after their karaoke! Then a very deeeeerunk Sheila came in for a quick hi and goodbye. :) Dawg and I wandered off to our hotel room so we could have “YAY! POPPY IS DONE BLEEDING!” sex then we went to sleep.
Saturday morning we pooled together with people for breakfast at TooJays. These people, in fact: Mister, Finn, Ren, Kim, Rachel, and Robin. Had a great meat skillet breakfast with bacon and Coke (NOTE TO SELF: NO SULFUR WATER NEXT YEAR, bottled water ONLY) and hilarity did ensue. Directly after breakfast it was back to the hotel for me and Dawg for 30 seconds during which time I do believe I hung out with Ren and (um, yah, blanky) until Dawg came down from changing his clothes so we could go meet with Jenny and Andy at Mimi’s Cafe!!!!! Dawg and I let them do most of the talking because THEY are our NASA friends and we LOVE listening to them talk about NASA! Not sure why, but at this point in the trip I never, ever took another photo so there are no photos of me with Jenny or Andy or the swag bag she made for me. :( I has a sad. I don’t know what I was not-thinking. But the chicken caesar salad was lovely! :) And seeing them again was spectacularly awesome. I hope one of these years we’ll actually get to go toward NASA to see them instead of them always coming to us. After we saw them we headed to the Halloween store for Dawg’s party costume where I almost picked up some army boots but decided they were neither cute nor comfortable enough to substitute for my hot stiletto boots in my costume. We then took a trip to Walgreen’s to purchase the remainder of Dawg’s costume, some makeup for me, and some Charmin for Adam’s, since rumor is that he ran out of TP last year. We then went back to the hotel to mentally prepare ourselves…
…and then it was time to get ready and go to Hilly’s house so we could meet Jinkies and I could get my makeup applied by Hilly! Ended up not using any of what I bought except the nail polish I had put on ALL BY MYSELF LIKE A BIG GIRL before arriving. But Hilly covered up my chin zit perfectly and gave me the sultry, smoky, sexy, slutty, trashy eyes I’d been hoping for and that was a rap. Oh, btw, I would totally have stolen Jinkies but I think Hilly would have noticed. Also, thanks again to Hilly for laying out a towel on your bed so I could put my fishnets on “correctly” without getting cooch juice on your bed. That’s just rude to do. And also thank you to Ms. Sugarpants for having the most adorable Canadian version of my same costume so that when I went slutty and you went furry we barely looked like twins!
Ok, party time! We all headed to Adam’s and … then a party happened. A lot of people I love and admire were all in the same house together. We had alien-themed mixed drinks from PJ the Bartender and I even had my secret stash of Stella! beer because I had handwritten it onto the Booze List and Adam indulged me, Mew took lots of wonderful pictures of everyone (I think I was asked to be in 4 or 5 separate photo shoots… go, Poppy!), I ate a lot of amazing food, and had a lot of crazy conversations with people. This seems like the shortest part of the post (uh, dur, cuz it is) but I just feel like you need to experience Adam’s party for yourself. Start saving up now because you won’t regret going to an amazing party with amazing friends. Make sure to bring a snack for the late night munchies and a package of TP for when the house stash runs out. :)
At about 3am a bunch of us wandered off to Denny’s. Don’t ask me who, apparently 2 mixed drinks, 2 beers, and a tiny bit of disgusting appletini were enough to give me tunnel vision. I just know I cried at the very loud music overhead until they turned that shit down, the food in front of me was DELICIOUS, and I was in the corner so I didn’t really get to talk that much, but I still had a great time. Then we went back to the hotel where we had “POPPY IS DRUNK!” sex (it’s fantastic, by the way) and then it was time to SLEEP!
Sunday morning we woke up late and headed over to Adam’s to properly say goodbye to him and pick up a gift that Mew had left there for us then we headed to Cracker Barrel for a little lunch and to drop off the rental car then catch that plane back home. (I spent the entire plane ride watching women’s billiards and popping my head over the seat looking for Bella who was in the front of the plane, but never found her. Dawg spent it sleeping. :)
Today I didn’t work but… that was probably a very good thing because I slept until 11:30am and felt blue all day from not being with everyone anymore. I miss everybody already. Boooo to that, can’t wait to see you all again! :)
Here are the photos I did take during the trip. For photos of the actual party please visit the Avitaween pool.
Thank you again to Adam and all who helped organize that damn party. You definitely outdid yourselves!!!
See some of you soon, see the rest of you later!
Today is Rachel’s birthday.
For said birthday she wants a fantasy of Neil Patrick Harris running through her head and 39 comments on her birthday post. I can help with Neil, you can help with comments. Please go leave Ms. Libragirl a comment so she reaches her goal. Extra comments to grow on are always welcome. ;)
And now, Neil Patrick Harris:
Dawg and I took the LIRR from Kew Gardens into Manhattan instead of dealing with the crazy subway schedule changes for this weekend, so we got all the way into the city by 4:15pm and checked in with the Houndstooth Pub who, ironically, had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned the KISS party. Note to Houndstooth Pub event coordinator: You might want to mention your events to your bar staff. ;)
I made a reservation for a long table for 10 people for 5:00pm then Dawg and I went outside so he could smoke and we could wait for people to show up. Of course Robin and Rachel were the promptest! Way to go, ladies! We all went inside and waited for more people. Next to show up was B.E. Earl! And then guest of honor Ren!!!!!!! And then Bearette with Baby E (who slept the entire time, save the last 5 minutes of his stay but was so adorable, as always). And then YKnot aka Wild Bill the Pirate, who we didn’t know was showing up, so that was entertainment in itself (see below :).
We ordered food and drinks and had a merry time and made our trips down the three sets of stairs to the bathrooms and back up the three sets of stairs. We were loud, crazy, and rambunctious but didn’t get kicked out. When we were ready to leave Bearette and Earl had departed and YKnot needed to take off for an early morning so the rest of us travelled to Serendipity 3, waited an hour for our name to be called (Carter? Carrrrrrrrter! … nope, not Carter), and when I finally got inside and sat down and saw the Frenchified menu I ordered! … an omelette – East meets Western, but without the ham, thanks.
Other evening highlights:
Riding the LIRR with Dawg
Throwing relevant-to-our-conversation DX signs with Dawg in front of the pub
Telling our Houndstooth Pub server “Hi Roger, I’m Stefanie, and this is my boyfriend. But these two lovely ladies (pointing to Rachel and Robin) are single!”
Comparing proper footwear with Ren
Trying to convince YKnot that he was at the wrong party cuz we were having a blogger party, not a twitter party (it was a very TC08 “Delmer Moment”, hehehehe :)
Having an intellectual conversation with Bearette completely separate from all the raucousness behind me
Hanging with my ladies Robin and Rachel
Trying not to laugh at what Earl does for a living :D
FROGS LEGS
Pumpkin pie martinis
Deeeerunkenly calling the Serendipity 3 male host a bitch for telling us we had to wait so long for a table ( I DO NOT RECALL THAT. )
Talking loudly about how Lady Gaga, Julia Roberts, and Gene Hackman (I meant Richard Gere) had to be in the limo outside of Serendipity 3
Ordering an omelette at a place famous for its frozen hot chocolate :)
Getting to hug my friends on their way out of my evening, knowing I’ll see them again :)
The evening flew by, it was a lot of fun, and I can’t wait to see everyone’s photos!!!!!
Here are miiiiiine:
