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Category archives for Breaking out The Sailor

September 19, 2008

Well, that mostly sorta went slightly as planned

My things are in Queens in a super secret bat cave location, to be moved up the crazy stairs at 8am tomorrow by people we pay good money to complain a lot until they run out of breath and can't complain anymore, then we offer them beverages.

You know what I like about Dawg? I'm a nasty cuntass bitch in his general direction, I apologize for it, and he gives me a hug and the concerned boyfriend face and says, "oh, Poppy, what are you sorry for???" Instead of yelling at me he loves me and tells me I'm awesome. See? Best Boyfriend award, right there.

So, yah, I was slightly psychotic yesterday. Not too, too bad but when we rolled into town at 9pm last night with two tasks still ahead of us — unpack the truck and return the truck — I was really super pissed that I could not find a parking spot because all the parking in that area has either been turned into bus depots or is eaten up by people who'd rather walk half a mile than pay $3 for parking at the mall.

I don't know if Dawg plans to tell any more of the story, but at 1am we finally got back to the apartment, a truck lighter although it's not officially turned in yet because WHAT U HAUL LOCATION DOESN'T HAVE A DROP BOX?! OH, THE ONLY ONE ON THE LIST NEARBY THAT WASN'T OUT OF BUSINESS OR TURNED INTO A FUCKING LAUNDRY MAT, THAT'S WHICH ONE. "We have security cameras watching you." WELL HOW ABOUT THIS IMAGE OF ME FLIPPING YOU THE PEACE AND LOVE BECAUSE YOU COCKSUCKERS WOULD RATHER HAVE DROP BOXES FOR APPLICATIONS OF YOUR GAS CARD THAN KEYS TO ALL THE U HAULS PARKED AT YOUR PuMPS BY PEOPLE DESPERATE TO OFFLOAD THEIR TRUCKS?!

If I get over there today and the U Haul has been TICKETED or TAGGED or VANDALIZED IN ANY WAY I AM GOING TO CALL U HAUL AND PUNCH THEM IN THE NOSE THROUGH THE PHONE.

Lesson learned: It's a really good idea to say "hi" in the morning before all the stressful stuff so the day isn't as stressful. We both slept like a baby after the "hi". (Yes, you needed to know that.)

I'm guessing none of my rant makes any sense, but you'll have to excuse me as I need to hurry up and turn in the truck properly so I can then sit at the apartment waiting for various delivery services to deliver packages.

Hugs and slightly still bitchy kisses,
Poppy

July 6, 2008

unicorns, kittens, rainbows, and pie

Dear Steve Jobs,

The newest version of iMovie is a piece of fucking SHIT.

Whoever wrote it should be FIRED.

It takes me 17 years to do ANYTHING I could do in the older version. You've totally fucked over a piece of previously functional software.

Thanks for nothing, you asshat.

Unfuckingsincerely,
nlm Poppy mln

March 29, 2008

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?

I am awesome.

Woot!

March 28, 2008

This blog is rated E for Elephant.

I finally got the award I was slightly jealous of never receiving but didn't want to call attention to, and then I got it again a day later!

Life is funny.

DutchBitch gave me the award yesterday, then Dawg gave it to me today when he should have been sleeping even though he knew I already got it cuz he's sneaky like that.

Rules:

1. Identify the originator of this award, and link so she can get her well-deserved traffic. It’s Kayla at Project Mommy.
2. Pass on at least 10 Excellent Blog Awards.

You are Excellent!  Or, well, your blog is, anyway!

I award the following blogs with E for Excellence:

Ocean of Reality
1 step beyond
Rude Cactus
Midnight Therapy with Crystal
BelchSpeak
Potatoes in the Mist
Jumping on the Bandwagon
Anonymous Coworker (you fucking slacker [just kidding!])
sourpuss
Maman des Filles
stefanie says
Amanda in Real Life
A Slice of Geek
Tense Teacher
The blog of whall
ButteryPopcorn.net (I know I write there, but Dawg does all the hard work. :love: )

Ok, I'm done.

Have a great Friday, dammit! And… fuck it?

March 20, 2008

A brief synopsis part 4

I sat outside in the sun for a while after scaring off the neighbor dogs who pretend they're vicious. (I'll show you vicious, you little shitheads.) (Notice how Poppy loves all creatures but calls these-dogs-in-particular shitheads. Yup.)

I finally figured out how to make my TuneCast Auto work in my car so I can listen to my iPod while I drive. Hold. it. near. the. radio. Poppy. (I iz smaht.)

I then got the biggest iced latte possible at Java J's.

I went to lunch at my stepdad's favorite Italian restaurant. I had salad with homemade Italian dressing, garlic bread, and fettucine alfredo. (Hi, stop making fun of me. You know who you are. :pfft: )

I saw a complete T. Rex skeleton. For real. And the only known red panda skull on the planet. For real.

I ate leftover barbecue, fettucine, cole slaw, and fries for dinner. And then I had Hershey's chocolate ripple ice cream for dessert. My mom then told me her scale is 10 lbs light. Fuck. (ok, not fuck, who the fuck cares, it's fucking vacation, fuck you, wheeeeeeeeeFUCKeeeeeee.)

I'm now watching yesterday's Top Chef.

I love food.

March 17, 2008

In which Dawg and I shoot the shit

This video demonstrates the exciting-to-only-us conversations Dawg and I have:

He swears a lot. I cannot even tell you how adorable I find that.

March 3, 2008

Another winter storm? Really? Really. Really? CUZ YOU JUST DID A BUNCH IN A ROW@!O~!#!!#@@@$@~@#@$!@!!#~123744119d/

Dear Winter,

Shut up.

Asshole.

Poppy

NO SPECIAL FONT FOR YOU!

POPPY

March 2, 2008

WHICH IS IT?!

Same zip code, different meteorology sources:

Weather Underground

USA Today

Somone's a crack whore. It's not me. I know what crack looks like, but I've never done the crack.

Fucking meteorologists can fucking kiss my ass. And not in the good way.

March 1, 2008

Quickies

Georgie is licking the floor. She does that.

I got my hair done. Not quite as dark as last time, but just as fucking sexy.

I am absolutely certain my stylist is preggers so while she was standing next to me with her belly in my face I was silently screaming, "hi, baby!!" through her bulky go-go dancer dress. (Yes, she was wearing the go-go dancer boots too. HAWT.)

I hate being the bearer of news that changes people's lives forever in a "well, hmm, that's not great for me, could we undo that?" way. It sucks hard and breaks my heart a little. I had to break some yesterday and I'm lucky I didn't start bawling.

Break Boy with X Speaking of breaks, I love playing GH3 with Break Boy. I hope we're still playing face-off side-by-side when we're old and senile. I also love it when he tries to body check me out of the way to mess me up when I'm winning, because as Essdy (my made up name for the other guy there) can attest to, my low center of gravity throws off Break Boy's big self even when he sees me making my strike. I suck at estimating weight, but I know he's at least 2.5 times heavier than I am (he's a giant), and that's a conservative guesstimate.

I played the open source version of Dance Dance Revolution last night. Let's just say I look "extra special" when I'm trying to dance.

Break Boy is a vegetarian. Has been since we were in college. He switched for His Lovely Wife who became a vegetarian in high school after cutting off one too many chicken heads on the family farm. Yesterday I got us garlic pizza to eat while we rocked out. My car still smells like garlic. So does my breath, and yet the kitties still keep giving me kisses.

My brain is racing at a million miles a minute. It has too much to think about. I don't see this changing anytime soon. I love it when my mind races, but you all may not be able to hold on for the ride. Sorry in advance. (Not really. You like all parts of me or you don't, but I'm English so I apologize anyway and mutter "fucker" under my breath. :winks: )

"Painful" is now a quantitative distance measurement. I've filed it with Webster's and British Parliament. So, the next time someone asks you "how far is it from Canada to Australia?" you can answer "it's Painful."

I really should have gone to the grocery store on the way home from getting my hair done but I didn't feel like it. I'm now on my last soda. Fuck. Soda and weekends go together, dammit. Time to send Ripley to the store with a note from Mama (me) that she's old enough to buy some. See, I have milk, water, cider, iced coffee, beer, and hard lemonade in the fridge, but that's just not gonna cut it.

Ripley is making biscuits on my chest. I :pinkpuffyheart: when she does that. Allie is glaring at her because she wishes she were making biscuits on me even though she doesn't know how.

I called Georgie "O-N-G" when I got home. I just kept saying it over and over. There's no reason why, I don't even know what ONG stands for, but this is precisely why each cat has about 15 nicknames. When I can't remember their names they are "Bunny" and when I can remember who they are they get one of their 15 very own names. When I am feeling extra love they are "Pretty Princess" or "Bunny". So, … yah. I am inconsistent.

I miss my boy. Ow.

Now I've dorked out.

kbai

February 28, 2008

To the man outside my office door who is speaking very loudly so that everyone in my department will hear your business,

Shut. the. fuck. up.

Fuckhead.

(@!#%*!@%^"@$%"!@*$%!@#$%@#%@#!$^*$^@#%*!#%!@!!!!!)

Kisses,
Popstar