I recently learned that my personal self worth is directly related to my ability to trust others. In learning this fact I also was able to realize that, through every fault of my own, I allowed my self worth tank to become very depleted.
It’s really much easier to allow my self worth to become very low than it is to keep it maintained at a healthy level. And I know I’ve spent way more of my life allowing my self worth tank to run on low or empty than I have allowed it to be above 3/4 full.
But in order to maintain healthy, productive, growing, nurturing relationships with those around me I need to put in that effort for others, and most of all for myself, in believing that I am worthy to:
be loved
love
be trusted
trust
be my partner’s one and only
be faithful to my partner
To believe I don’t deserve happiness, to believe that those closest to me are really just around to hurt me, will result in them leaving me eventually. Because who the hell wants to live life walking on eggshells trying to figure out how not to upset me just because I haven’t done the work to keep my self worth at a stable level so that I don’t become a paranoid mess in the corner? And it will, in fact, be my fault that I pushed them away. Self sabotage. (boooooo hissssss)
What I’ve learned also about self worth is that it is very difficult to build my own self worth back up, but it’s a lot easier to build others’ self worth with my words. I really do need help from others to remind me of why I deserve good things in my life rather than bad. I normally don’t reach out for help from others, but then I feel so very isolated and perpetuate my feelings of unworthiness.
Soooooo, here’s the challenge: Fill up someone else’s self worth tank. Let’s say nice things about how awesome each other is so that we feel like our existence on this planet is not a waste of space, time, and energy. If you’re strong enough to say nice things about yourself, then do that too.
You can say it in a comment here, you can write your own post, you can make a vlog, you can email the person, you can write tweets, you can post photos, you can change your Facebook status or write on someone’s wall. You could even call someone or write them a letter or show up at their house, I suppose.
And if you really need some self worth but you’re having trouble building it for yourself please reach out and ask for help.
And if this is a big flop and nobody does it then that’s gonna suck donkey balls but I’ll find other ways to increase my self worth on my own, such as: sending myself a gift basket, sending myself flowers, getting my hair done, getting a hot stone massage, cooking an incredible dinner and enjoying every bite, hanging out in a kitten pile (with maybe a Dawggy thrown in 
on the bed, writing my thoughts and dreams and aspirations in my own actual handwriting on lined paper, telling myself “I love you” in the mirror.
And PS – NO ONE is allowed to feel like shit or feel jealous or hurt if it seems like no one else is choosing you for the self worth project. That’s you showing off your depletion, and that means you should ask for help. This isn’t high school, this isn’t a contest, this is humans helping other humans.
Great post. I could have written it myself, but you actually make great sense in a concise manner…so maybe I couldn’t have written it, after all.
I shall participate. I’m terrible at writing nice things about myself, but I can easily pump up other people. Besides my blow-up girlfriend, I mean.
Poppy, this surprises me. You are the shizz. For realz!
I’ll do it!
This? This right here?
Is why you are one of a very small handful of people that I reach out to when I need perspective.
Because you’re honest. And trustworthy. And wise. And so fucking smart, Poppy. Seriously.
And I’m with you. I absolutely LOVE filling up other people’s self worth tank, but it sometimes gives me the heebie jeebies to do it to myself.
There’s a dirty, dirty joke somewhere in there that is painfully true. lol
What a great project! Isn’t it weird how we’re conditioned not to fill up our own tank of self worth? I know I have a hard time doing it.
You, Poppy, are an amazing person. You are creative, generous, and kind. You call things as you see them and aren’t afraid to have a dissenting opinion. I love your honesty and your intelligence.
Thanks for starting this!
Done!
This is an awesome idea. My problem is who to pick? OMG there are so many people I think of as awesome! Guess I’ll have to work on that!
This is amazing ! Love it, and you too ! Fill up your tank because you are made of THE awesome, I am glad to be your friend and am a better person because of it !
Yay for Poppy ! Yay for me !!
Yay for us all !!
YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Done done and more done.
It’s so easy to forget to tell people what you LIKE about them when you are focused on what you DISLIKE about other people or things. We all need to shift our gears and start treating others much better. I’m totally in.
We can say it in a comment here? Really? Okay.
I’m not a regular commenter by any means, but I have had the pleasure of meeting the owner of this blog and her one and only. Both of them have had some hellish things that have happened to them personally, but they were blessed enough to find each other and build something very special together.
Simply put — I like watching you two together in action. (And no — not THOSE kind of videos, ya pervs!) I love the way you two interact on the Twitter. Sometimes reading about the two of you helps me to replace some of my negative energy with positive thoughts.
I do hope I get the chance to hang out with you two again sometime. Unless, of course, what I just wrote a paragraph ago completely creeped you two out.
Poppy, just you writing that makes me feel more positive and you KNOW how long, I have been running on empty.
This is why I love you Poppy. You always have the best advice and things.
I mean Vahid and I are STILL talking about comments you left at my blog and how awesome they were.
Damn, you really got it figured out.
This is why I am so totally jealous that my son will get to spend a day in New York City next weekend, and I will not. Because you are definitely on the top 10 list of people I want to meet!
I like your smile. And your cats.
J.
I’m all for this… especially the part about filling up the self-worth tank, because it’s important to realize when people are doing that and let that self-worth in!
Which is why I never let you win… because I love you the mostest times pi cubed.
What a beautiful idea! I don’t have a blog, but just want to say you’re awesome. I love how when you are a friend to someone, or commit to someone (hi Dawg!), you do it wholeheartedly. You are genuine, and you are loyal. You see the best in people, and are genuinely hurt when they’re not as good as you thought; but you can also be forgiving. You’re quirky; I love quirky.
Pee Ess. Back because I didn’t subscribe & I like seeing what people have to say.
How much a gallon does this stuff cost? Can I get it at the local Exxon?
I love this post. We need to do this more often! I make sure I comment/say something uplifting each day, but I need to do it MORE. We need to push away the darkness by being kind to one another.
I so hear you on this post. There are times (like today, sadly) that I don’t feel worthy, that I don’t think I’m good enough or deserving of good things. It sucks, because it’s SO hard to lift yourself.
(sorry, forgot to subscribe)
Love this idea! My tank needs some filling
I “met” you many years ago now (has it been 4? 5? Something like that) and I’ve watched you completely transform your life. You’re *happy*, the real genuine happy that many people search for and never find. And it’s because you didn’t go looking for it, you made it for yourself. You don’t settle. You constantly are trying to better yourself. You put others before yourself. You’re smoking hot without trying at all; it’s safe to say that I still have a major girl-crush on you, even years later. I’m so proud to know you and have a little window into your amazing life. Thank you for shaing it with me.
Ahhhh, that feels good.
I didn’t see this yesterday! I will do this though. I will.
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Karl, thank you for thinking it’s great and concise. And thank you for participating. Looking forward to reading your post after I answer comments!
Sybil, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. We all have our inner demons… inner for a reason.
Britt, thank you. It’s so much easier to fill someone else with happiness than myself, but then I get the after effect.
Lisa, I think we spend so much time trying to achieve or please others that we forget to worry about tapping into ourselves and figuring out what we need to be happy. I’m living the life I’ve always wanted to live… so I kinda forgot to check in with myself to see if I’m doing ok worth-wise. Gotta check in once in a while. And thank you so much for saying such awesome things about me!!
Dave2, is it the humble pie bullet of your Sunday post?! Because that was AWESOME!
Blondefabulous, pick everyone you want! Really! I picked you in my head, a photo I have of you showing me your derby gear, and I was going to say what an amazingly giving and thoughtful and awesome mom and person you are.
So, there ya go! Hehehehe
Kim, it’s funny that we are a better person because of each other. I wonder how the universe justifies that.
Yay for us all, indeed.
Hilly, it’s so much easier to focus on negative stuff in every aspect of life. When I get inspired to stop doing that I like to share the idea. I think world peace could actually be solved by this self worth replenishment thing.
Shiny, thank you for saying such kind words about me and Dawg! It’s always surprising to find out what people think about me. And I’m pretty sure you’re not actually stalking us so it’s totally ok that you like watching us. *replacing the kitten destroyed blind in the bedroom* hehehe
Maman, I am glad I can help you feel more positive. I am pretty sure your self worth tank could use replenishing on a regular basis. I hate that it’s the case, but perhaps a permanent sign in the bathrooms that “Mom is AWESOME!!” is in order.
Sarah, thank you for that. I am glad I encourage you to think. I have a mind like a sieve so recall zero of my comments.
Creature, I got the part about how I *shouldn’t* be figured out. Just that pesky thing about making it allllll better to work on…
J, thank you so much for boosting me up! Tank level INCREASED! I know this is totally random, but I love that your second job is making foods for people. You feed kids knowledge then feed everyone the fuel so they can learn. It’s an awesome cycle.
Dawg, something clicked when I read your comment. I get it now. I get why you must win. You are being the sweetest boyfriend in the universe. And I hope you do know I love living here, love living with you, and love you with all my heart. I just gotta keep myself feeling worthy… only I can do that part.
Tug, you make me so happy with your words, thank you so much. You have always made me happy with your words.
Adam, it’s priceless. And it’s only available inside of you.
Jess, thank you for enjoying this post. I am sure it’s so hard for you to keep your personal self worth up when you’re doing such a great job caring for Nolan and Matt and your kitty. You are an incredible mom, selfless and always there going above and beyond for your baby boy. I know it gets you down that people in your life try to attack how you live, but how you live is your choice and your business and you’re doing an AWESOME job!!
Mel, thanks. I am so glad we’ve both had the chance to transform ourselves so that we can live our incredible lives.
Finn, no worries about not seeing it yesterday. It was Sunday! Rest day!! I broke the blog rules and posted something “important” on the weekend.
Dear Poppy,
I am perpetually behind on my blog reading but I think you are all kinds of awesome, and coming up with a positive idea for a blog post like this just goes to prove it.
Simply put, this is brilliant. Oh and it goes a bloody long way towards proving all the nobs who accuse bloggers of being nothing more than narcissists, wrong! Dead wrong!
great idea…it was a nice surprise to be one of the recipients during a rough week.
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