I got on the wrong train last night, going South instead of North then East. I couldn’t see out the train window to realize until I was at 34 St, then was confused about the mass exodus that normally happens at Roosevelt on the correct train. And then I saw 14 St, then West 4, … ooooops, so I got off at Spring Street, crossed to the other platform, txted Dawg that I wouldn’t be home aaaaaanytime soon, and waited for the right train.
I am directionally challenged, particularly when I am tired. I fully expect to still be making this same exact train mistake on occasion in five years from now. Subway signs be damned, if I don’t have a clear landmark to gauge my location by then I’m screwed.
The one place I’m never lost in is the maze at work. It’s actually a maze. It’s laid out like a maze. It’s not just square or just circular, it’s a combination of both. But there are landmarks everywhere. When I come out of the bathroom I know not to go through the hallway with the pretty lady in négligée. When I enter the front door I know not to follow that really famous band everyone pretends to hate. When I’m in the kitchen I know to head toward the double doors, not toward the bedding ads. When I’m in the sales area I know to head toward the completely glassed in offices. When I need to get to my desk I follow the really loud duct work to the as-of-yet baron cubicle. Ok, these are sucky examples, but my point is that the reason I can get around the maze that is my workplace after even the first day is because of all the objects that are not commonplace to me. The subway? It’s all common. There are trains, there are platforms, there are stairs and escalators, there are commuters of all walks of life, there are signs that (to me) all look the same… and I just can’t get my mind wrapped around which direction is Manhattan southbound and which is Queens/Manhattan eastbound.
Tonight I am presumably going out for drinks with my co-workers. They don’t know this yet, but I will be drinking Coca-Cola while they get their faces shitty. I have decided on the following line to express my preference to not drink: “I don’t drink alcohol with people I don’t know really well.” How can they argue with that? And then when I do know them very well I will graduate to “I don’t drink alcohol when there are no religious figures present, such as the Pope, St. Francis, or Buddha.” Again, arguments are highly difficult. The days of me succumbing to peer pressure ended long ago, but I do so enjoy making my quirky proclamations.
I hope this weekend hurries up. I’m really enjoying work quite a bit, learning a lot and teaching the guys a few things but I’m tired and I need a weekend to reset and restrategize about how to get up quite so early and be home quite so late but still have quality of life with my loved ones. I’ll figure it out… we’ll figure it out, but it breaks my heart to know they miss me because I know how much I miss them.
PS to the E train — Please stop stopping for no reason so much. Thanks.
PPS to my iPod — Please don’t ever not be charged in the morning again. Thanks thanks.
PPPS to Lil’ Mama — Please sing more about lip gloss. Thanks thanks thanks.
PPPPS to NYC shoe stores — Please open before 9am so I don’t have to go after work. Thanks thanks thanks thanks.
Question – when I kidnap you and take you to Sparky’s place – are you interested in a spa day? I am dying for one and Sparky and I have gone to the Red Door spa @ a/c and they give awesome hot stone massages….also, sparky is not free any weekend until after the new year – which weekend are you free?
Let me know so we can plan your ransom note
Orientation by landmarks.. Yeah, that’s about the only thing that works for me, too. Also, yay for refusing alcohol !
As someone who is also directionally challenged, I sympathized with this post. If I lived in NYC I would end up homeless in the first week. Cause I wouldn’t be able to find my way home. Ever.
I love shoes!
(sorry I am not directionally challenged and couldn’t think of anything else to say…that’s what I get reading this after hours of homework when my brain is burnt out.)
It’s gonna become habit for you in no time. What you don’t want to do is accidentally get on the 5 train instead of the 4 train when you are headed to Yankee Stadium. You can wind up in sections of the Bronx that you really don’t want to wind up in.
You should carry around a can of spray paint (I’ll send you one) and just make your own landmarks on the walls so you know which way to go!
And try “I don’t drink on days that end with “y”.” Telling people that you’re working with that you don’t drink with people you don’t know very well sounds a bit snooty to me.
I guess the feetie rub was not as good as I thought.
Or the linguine.
Or the Texas toast.
Or me passing out on the couch and drooling all over the place.
:frown:
Please take pictures of the walk to the train; I’ll find some landmarks for you. Or maybe I should just move in next door and you can use my sense of direction?
And the drinking? Tell ‘em you’re a Mormon.
At least one shoe store should be open 24 hours.
Hey – I can dream, right?!
Have you run into the really crazy guy that jumps up and down while thumping a Bible (literally) and screams about no virgins in Heaven while following you out of the subway station? :grins:
You could always pee on each branch (or turnstyle) and sniff your way back!
I feel like I just got scolded.
Well, only by two of you. The rest of you love the Poppy.
I did this same thing on the busses recently. Really screwed me up for the evening.
Robin, I’ve never ever done a spa day so I’d be down for that. I am freaked out about being touched, so… we’ll see how massages go. Riding the subway every day is helping me get over the strangers touching me in unintentional ways, not sure how intentional touching is though.
Creature, thank you. I do drink on occasion, but there is no way in hell I’m putting myself in a vulnerable position with a bunch of men I just met. Don’t care who they are.
Faiqa, that is so hilarious. You’d find a cab, give your address, and make it home, I’m sure.
Sarah, I didn’t know I love shoes, but it’s all I do on the subway — stare at shoes. And I do it while I’m waking up and people watching at europa cafe in the mornings.
BEE-bzzt, I’ve never even been on the 4 or the 5, but if I ever am I’ll keep that in mind.
Avi, they notice if you tag stuff, and then they arrest you and clean it off. And I doubt I would have actually said that or if I did I would have given a tone/look combo to make sure they knew I was serious but didn’t mean it rudely.
Dawgy, you know I appreciate every little, big, and in between thing you do for me. Everything you did for me that night was wonderful, I promise. :love:
Finn, it’s when I’m in the subway station itself where I get lost, and I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to whip out a camera in there. :winks:
Sybil, I whole-heartedly agree. And you know what shoe store that is, right? Wal-Mart. Or Target. sigh.
BB, no, just the people who aren’t supposed to be hitting us up for money on the train but do.
Sharon, ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! :ill: It’s best to hold your breath as much as possible and keep your face away from anything and everything.
Wah, yah, I was in a very foul mood about it.
Gotta keep that iPod charged. It’s the key to life. Or, at least the key to a sane commute.