It seems like I’m poor, despite the public record to the contrary

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I was just staring at my online paycheck (because we’re all fancy like that and only have online paychecks for direct deposit people) and… if I didn’t know better it would look like I am seriously poor, although not as poor as I should be.

I make X amount of dollars (it’s public record, but I’m not gonna just shove it into a post :pfft: ), but I have the following deductions from my check:

Federal Withholding
Medicare
Social Security
State Withholding
Parking (0.56% of pre-tax salary)
Medical (14.0% of pre-tax salary)
Dental ($34.16/month flat rate)
Life Insurance (some mathematical equation that forces me in the end to pay $33,000 by the time I am allowed to retire if I keep this level of insurance and this job [math. ow.])
Retirement Savings (15.0% of pre-tax salary)

I did the math and in the end I am taking home 58% of my paycheck, which mathematically makes no sense since the average government chunk is 35% (or is it 28%? whatever, it’s huge) removed, plus the additional 29.56% plus the $34.16 plus the freaky deaky math to do with life insurance. That doesn’t add up to 100%. I’m lucky I’m taking home as much as I am. Magic money. This is why I sometimes randomly believe I have a rich relative somewhere who enjoys slipping money into my bank account when I’m not looking, but now that I keep my checkbook balanced even this idea isn’t working for me anymore.

Bottom line: I’m clearly bad at math. And I should stop thinking about my future so much.

3 thoughts on “It seems like I’m poor, despite the public record to the contrary”

  1. I don’t know. I think I would try to track down the money making madman who is adding to your bankage each month and marry him…or her.

    Cut out the middleman, ya know?

  2. Isn’t it easier just to post this puzzle?

    Three men go to stay at a motel, and the man at the desk charges them $30.00 for a room. They split the cost ten dollars each. Later the manager tells the desk man that he overcharged the men, that the actual cost should have been $25.00, minus the ho’s. The manager gives the bellboy $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.

    The bellboy, however, decides to cheat the men and pockets $2.00, giving each of the men only one dollar. Then he goes and finds the ho’s pimp and tells HIM the men didn’t pay.

    Now each man has paid $9.00 to stay in the room and 3 x $9.00 = $27.00. The bellboy has pocketed $2.00. $27.00 + $2.00 = $29.00 – so where is the missing $1.00? Also, how long do the men have to live?