That was no whale and those were no crabs

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Went to see Cloverfield finally and here’s what it was about:

Rob got a job as a Vice President of some company in Japan so his friends and brother are throwing him a surprise going away part. To document the event there is a home video camera being run by Hud who was tricked into filming the event by Rob’s brother Jason. While at the party we find out that Rob loves a girl named Beth, Jason loves a girl named Lily, and Hud crushes on a girl named Marlena. I’m gonna skip a bunch of details because you should go see the movie, but basically a huge creature with mini creatures attacks Manhattan. Nothing kills this thing. Nothing. Nothing even fucking touches this thing. The littler guys are pretty easy to kill but they’re NASTY. You don’t want to meet them in a dark corner, which is proved more than once in the movie. The home video camera plot is that Beth calls Rob after the monster has attacked to tell him she’s trapped in her building after the monster dropped by her place (hehehehehe, uninvited). Rob decides he NEEDS to go save Beth, so the rest of the gang (Lily, Jason, Hud, and Marlena) tag along even though they could have just evacuated the city before it is flattened to the ground by the military at sometime shortly after 0600 hours. Ahhhh, a love story with retarded tag-alongs…

Things I enjoyed about this movie:

  1. The shaky camera work made me nauseous
  2. The home video quality brought me closer into the story
  3. The monster was badass
  4. The mini-monsters were badass (similar to the Starship Troopers bugs, only these ones were human-sized instead of bigger-than-human-sized)
  5. I have no idea why, but I enjoy watching movies about monsters attacking New York City (GODZILLA!! RAAWWWWWR!)
  6. It was very suspenseful so I kept pushing back further into my chair at certain points and eeking out a lil bit (totally ok since the kids in front of me were crying, screaming, and being generally scared out of their fucking minds the entire time, which I don’t get, but whatever)

Things I didn’t enjoy about this movie:

  1. It was too short (and, by too short I mean it could have at least been a few minutes longer, thanks)
  2. Although it’s noble to go find your loved one in peril… um, big fucking monster attacking the city? Evacuate!!!!! (Unless it’s your job to stay, and then … well, it’s your job, so you stay)
  3. The end piece after the credits (because for whatever reason it annoys me when movies imply “I’ll be back” unless it has Arnold in it)

Clearly the goodness outweighs the badness here.

Film rating: A

Poppy says go see it, so you go see it.

13 thoughts on “That was no whale and those were no crabs”

  1. It had to be short, because it was on one tape in the video camera, according to my boyfriend.

    If I were Marlena I would have gone through the alleyway where they were evacuating

  2. Yah, I know. I’m just asking for a couple more minutes, though. And if I were Marlena I would have left too. That part seems implausible, especially after all the dialog between Marlena and Hud up to that part.

  5. That first part of your post made me think of the bible part where Ezra begat whoever and Sarah begat someone else and so forth and so on.

    PS: I have not seen it yet but I know that if the camera is used in that wobbly way they seem to enjoy using these days, it will annoy me. I am not fond of the whole make a movie look like it’s shot by a monkey on crack thing.

  6. Avi, ummm… I saw the movie. Yes, there was a very end piece, but it was lame. Watch it on DVD unless you already planned to go back and see it again.

    Fab, that’s right. You do as I say!

    Miss Ann, don’t make me come over there and drag you to this movie. I don’t care if you hate how it’s shot, you still should see it. Hud totally is a monkey on crack, though.

  8. POT ROAST?! Damn, woman, you found one of my weaknesses! But I have to be to work tomorrow to goof off all day so I must respectfully decline. How about you just GO TO THE MOVIE?

  9. i liked it too. and i think it was perfect how it ended. very realistic.
    the mini-monsters were actually parasites living on the big monster. notice they only came off when he scraped on the side of a building. i know… ewwwwwwwww

  11. Sarah, hi! I agree, very good. And yes, parasites. Ugly, mean, bastard parasites.

    Aaron, my post is quite clear. You go see it because I said so. Now, scoot. I’ll be here when you get back.

  13. WTF? I heard that movie sucked!
    Hmmm..
    I am torn.
    Oh, and like Wayne, I won’t see it in a theater, anyway.
    But I admit – I am intrigued by the two differing opinions…