I got nothin’ cuz my life is good. I’d elaborate but… well, it would feel like I was rubbing faces in it since everyone else’s life seems to suck some major donkey goatse, and I wish it didn’t.
If anyone asks me what goatse is I’m going to tell you to google it. So, pre-emptive strike right there.
I’ve done a lot of crying, headaching, nauseating, sleeping, worrying, hoping, and being really sad since Friday.
I heard words I wanted to hear today that make the headache, nausea, worrying, and sadness go away. It’s something I’ve wondered and worried about for a long time (so long, that I actually started worrying about it before it was my place to worry) but never said anything. Turns out, words between people who love each other enough to be honest are very powerful and very healing.
This morning I was having a fitful dream where all of the people I work with went to the production floor for a company meeting (that never happens) and when I came downstairs because something IT related was urgently needed all the desks were cleaned off, cleaned out, and we were all being laid off. I woke up from this to find Dawg on the couch with his eyes closed. I woke him to check if he was ok then his mom called. I heard the word “body” come from her mouth. Dawg looked at me in a nervous way and then asked when it had happened. I got up and ran to the bedroom, hid under the covers, and started bawling.
Kit Kat died in his sleep last night after 19 great years.
I love you, buddy. I love you so much. You know I do.
Happy birthday, baby girl!
Mama and Dawggy love you with all our heart.
(She’s seven today.)
What it is and why I’m doing it:
The walk itself
“In July of 2010 we’ll be walking the length of Hadrian’s Wall in six days. That’s 84 miles across the entire width of England.
We’re walking in aid of the Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity founded by [Dan's] friends in memorial to their son Joseph who died aged 3 in April of 2005.
The Joseph Salmon Trust supports parents who have lost a child by providing financial assistance to those who need it most.”
The cause
“Joseph was a happy, healthy three year old who loved life. He enjoyed playing with his toy trains, his cars and his pretend kitchen. He had a busy social life, with lots of friends from nursery and friends who lived nearby.
He enjoyed cooking with his mummy, going on trains and buses with his daddy, and playing outside with anyone who would join in.
Joseph had a passion for books and had just started to ‘read’ them to his younger sister. It felt like his life was just beginning.
This all changed on 1st April 2005, when Joseph died of streptococcal pneumonia. Joseph did not suffer, he simply fell into a deeper sleep from which he never awoke.
The Joseph Salmon Trust has been set up in his name
The Trust supports parents who have lost a child by providing financial assistance to those who need it most. This may be to help with funeral costs or to allow the self employed a break from work while they come to terms with their loss.”
…and because Dawg asked me to join him.
…and because England is my homeland.
Where it is:
Hadrian’s Wall runs the width of Northern England, and we’re walking the whole thing.
Who’s doing it with me:
Team Ocelot
Why I’m telling you 9 months early:
Cuz I feel like it? :) I’m not fundraising (yet) but our goal is to raise £20,000. The exchange rate is £1.67 to $1.00. We’ll see if we can do it. :) No matter, I am excited for this adventure.
I had an irrational thought in the middle of the night Monday in my AC bed that the woman that one of Dawg’s friends is smitten for and about to marry is the bat shit CRAZIEST salesperson at my job. I was all ready to confiscate Dawg’s phone and call said friend in the middle of the night just to ask him his girlfriend’s last name. I resisted, but then this morning I had mulled over the idea of walking up to Bat Shit Crazy and asking her what her boyfriend’s name is. Dawg told me this can’t be the case, that his friend’s girl works in NJ, but… I’m not convinced until his friend shows me the proof that this fine lady isn’t the crazy lady at my work.
I WILL NOT REST!
Ok, yes I will.
Anyway.
Today was my first day in Manhattan during United Nations play time!!! whee!!!!! and I definitely noticed a security difference. I saw lots of extra police, and some guy carrying a Fed Ex package almost get mauled by a German Shepherd, and the cop holding the leash of said dog smirk at the guy. I did not care for that even a tiny bit.
I had something else to blog about that was on a more positive note but I totally forgotted it! :(
Still trying to remember.
Nope, not coming to my mind.
Well, I’ll tell you something else then. I’m pretty sure no one from VT is reading my blog anymore, but I just wanted to say (HIDE YOUR EYES IF YOU’RE EZA) that I got a late birthday present for EZA finally after resolving that I would not be able to return to VT before the snow flew, thus missing his August 25 birthday party. The gifts are on the way to me, and when they come to me I’ll package them up and send them off.
Gift 1 is already with me:
(That bottom box is his. The middle box went to my favorite salesperson who gave me a hug for it. The top box went to Dawg because he asked for it and I love him with all my heart.)
Gift 2 is a book EZA really needs to read because I’m confident he will come visit me and I know he will be interested in this subject:
Gift 3 is just way cool and any 7-year-old would love this:
I don’t know if I’ll add anything else, but probably at least a card. Love that little guy to tiny pieces and back. *sniffle*
Ok, off to have a party with @Rachel316 and @missbritt and @MsBatman! LATER!
Oh, hahahaha! I am totally writing in Sybil style (right?!) but I just remembered what I was going to write about. I’ll make that a whole notha post, k? k.
Happy whateverdaythis is, chicas and fuertes!
This weekend Dawg, The Terrorist, and I drove to the Tropicana in Atlantic City, NJ for a little R&R.
I offer you the trip in photos and video, along with a little explication.
Ladies, if you want to be hit on constantly then you go on a trip with The Terrorist. I warn you: He also hit on a crack addict prostitute (elaborated on at the end of this post). His standards for flirting are: anything with a vagina, and sometimes he’ll hit on men for practice.
(Side note of seriousness: I adore The Terrorist, he is a great friend. I feel bad if I let you think he isn’t an awesome guy because he truly is. But if you ever get to meet him and he flirts with you just to get in your pants then you’re not meeting the real man behind the one night stand. Just sayin’.)
As soon as we got there we did pre-check-in where we stood on line to reserve our hotel rooms then we played a couple of slots while we waited for Pajamas and his Girl of the Day to show up. I know Pajamas from the vollies corps, but the guys who aren’t at the stage of life to settle down typically bring a girl to have fun with while they’re there, and that’s the type of girl Pajamas brought so I shook her hand and could pick her out in a line-up, but I didn’t get to know her. (If I see her 4 more times I’ll ask her what she does for a living, if that makes you happy.) Pajamas and his flavor of the weekend were on their way back home so we said goodbye to them and I played my Enchanted Unicorn game until I lost my $20.
(Side note of seriousness: Pajamas is a great guy from what I personally know about him. NYC is just a weird beast of a place where guys don’t seem to settle down until they’re “old” so in the meantime they are essentially perceived as woman grinders, as in they go through a lot of them. And Pajamas is young enough where he’s still grinding through the ladies. Some day I’m going to sit Pajamas and all the other young’uns down and tell them what it’s like in Vermont, how the “game” is played, and all their minds will be blown to bits.)
Terror, Dawg, and I went to The Fiesta buffet to eat a lot of food. I had carving station flank steak and roast turkey, corn on the cob, a baked potato, salad with blue cheese dressing, and a chocolate mousse with a Coke to drink. I tried a cheese ravioli with lobster sauce, but as happens EVERY time I try seafood I hated it so I gave the ravioli to Dawg who was very much enjoying the seafood with Terror.
After food we went back on line to get our room keys, at which point I used my newly acquired Diamond Club card coupon for a free room upgrade to get us one of the newly renovated rooms in the South tower of the Trop.
That photo is of him sitting on his hotel bed, watching the Sex and the City movie rather than going downstairs to play the slots with me and Dawg. Yes, he came all the way to a hotel to watch TV. But his room was comped, so what the hell does he care if he’d rather cry over Carrie’s wedding dress? He agreed to make a reservation for us all to have dinner at Red Square at 7:30pm then Dawg and I strolled the boardwalk and I snapped a few photos:
…but the sound of the ocean is what I needed to take home with me so I took this video:
…and cried the whole time. The ocean is a very bittersweet experience for me.
We sat down on the boardwalk and just people watched until dinner time then we met up with Terror and went to Red Square for salad, steak, and Russian vodkaaaaaa:
After dinner we walked back to the casino area to put $20 at a time into colorful, musical machines of fun.
[INSERT PHOTO OF CASINO FLOOR HERE USING YOUR IMAGINATION SINCE PHOTOS OF THE CASINO FLOOR ARE FORBIDDEN.]
I got hit on by a crack addict who ordered a Midori sour with a cherry from one of the MANY waitresses who never, ever gave me the time of day (note to self: next time wear a hat that says “I want a free drink and I tip better than the old pervy guys”) even though I dropped $250-$300 overall into their shiny machines that night, then the guys decided to play the tables so I brought Rebel back up to the hotel room then played some slots on my own and wandered back over to The Quarter to see what other trouble I could find, but Dawg called me to tell me he and Terror were done losing at the tables so I went back up to the room with Dawg and we had fanfuckingtastic sex on the edge of a tall bed and went to sleep. (Yes, Finn, apparently it always is. I apologize to you.) (No photos of that either. :)
The next day I got all dressed up in my next day outfit, including my Bongo jeans I hafta squeeeeeeeeeeze into then found out that we weren’t playing any more casino games, but in fact were leaving the hotel. After we were all packed up Dawg tried his hardest to get Terror to answer his damn hotel door then Dawg and I went downstairs:
and I shopped at James’s for taffy and chocolates to take home then got a yummy bacon, egg, and cheese on a Kaiser and a small hot coffee at Adam’s deli (SUPER GOOD). After we left the hotel Dawg drove us left onto Atlantic…
People in Atlantic City are kinda crazy. The tourists, sure, but the locals definitely. Some prostitute was screaming on Atlantic Avenue then came over to the Dunkin’ Donuts the 3 of us were in and started screaming for a cab driver because no cab had driven by in a half hour to pick her up and she had $500 in her titties and she was sober and somebody better drive her to where she needed to go, and everyone just laughed at her and called her a crazy bitch so she left and wandered into traffic, almost getting hit by more than one car, then sat at the bus stop instead of getting on the bus that was at the bus stop. Only on Atlantic Avenue… (We have an Atlantic Avenue near us in Queens, and the same savory crazy people hang out on it! :)
And that’s the trip, folks!
Full photo set is here. Dawg will have his own photos up eventually. :)
This is a Facebook honesty meme which Maman tagged me for, but I’m going to post it to my BLOG. :)
1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Cabot extra sharp cheddar cheese
2. Where was your profile picture taken?
My FB profile pic is this one:
…from my desk.
3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Yes, yes I can.
4. Name someone who made you laugh today?
Georgie and Dawg get equal time on this.
5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
2am even though I tried to go to bed at 1am and failed. I took a long, sobby nap when I got home from work. I was so tired that I burst into an anxiety attack of tears. It was purdy.
6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
The honest answer to this is that if the basement had a kitchen area and a bathroom I’d move back into Dawg’s parents’ basement. I really enjoy his family. But, I do enjoy the privacy our castle in the sky affords us so I’d probably keep this apartment too. ;)
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
I am probably hurting someone’s feelings in the universe by saying: I don’t think so. Not that I remember.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on Facebook?
Dawg :p And then Bella lives next closest, I think.
9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
Dawg is great friends with his ex! But, if I didn’t have that example I would whole-heartedly say nope.
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
It offends my tastebuds.
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Friday less than a minute after arriving home. I was just sooooo exhausted, and really upset at how tired I was, and that I couldn’t even stay vertical long enough to feed the girls their treat.
12. Who took your profile picture?
Me using Photo Booth.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Me and Dawg (with Ripley in background) so we could show Adam our Avitaween shirts and travel mug we bought.
14. Was yesterday better than today?
NO. Yesterday fucking SUCKED, dude.
15. Can you live a day without TV?
Yes.
16. Are you upset about anything?
I am a very sensitive person (although much less so now that I’m a New Yawkah) so being upset is my comfortable habitude.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Yes, although there are small snippets of time where I think everyone would be better off without one. It’s usually when I’m angry with myself for caring about something too much. If I care so much then why not talk it out? Good advice, Popstar.
18. Are you a bad influence?
I am definitely a very bad influence. I will encourage you to do exactly what you want to do.
19. Night out or night in?
As long as I’m with good company I’ll take either, but I prefer in.
20. What items could you not go without during the day?
My mind.
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I’m drawing a blank on this one. It might have been my ex’s grandmother. She was a great lady.
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
It says I missed a call, but honestly I wouldn’t say I missed it… ;)
23. How do you feel about your life right now?
Mostly pretty good with a few scattered insecurities, doubts, fears, worries, and questions. More sunny than cloudy, in other words.
24. Do you hate anyone?
Yes, I do. Sometimes people get under my skin and remain there no matter what they do to prove to me they aren’t the person they presented themselves to me as originally. I wish I didn’t let people affect me that way.
25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?
A lot of unanswered messages. The only time I even read FB messages is when someone writes on my wall that they’re going to write me a message. Ironic, eh?
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
This is a test to show I don’t have drugs in my system, yes? Then, I would pass. But I might take some bedtime Midol.
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
I have an ecard photo on my Mac’s desktop from Dawg that uses that exact word in reference to me.
28. What song is stuck in your head?
We LMAFO, We rock the beat and rock the show
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
It better be my mama, cuz if it’s anyone else I’m knockin’ them the fuck off my fire escape.
30. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
No.
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow:
I have to go to Atlantic City with Dawg and The Terrorist so I can eat filet mignon and roasted Caesar Salad at Red Square. I know, life is SO hard.
32. Do you think too much or too little?
Too much, always.
33. Do you smile a lot?
Yes, a lot a lot. It’s doing wonders for my wrinkle count.
Don’t you wanna come to New York City and hang out with me and a bunch of other people, including REN? Cuz I want you to.
Yes, this is the big announcement.
RenYC details are becoming … firmer. :) We now have a date (Saturday, October 10) and a location (Houndstooth Pub, 520 8th Avenue @ 37th Street). And I’m gonna hazard the time estimate at 5pm for pre-party, 6pm party TIME.
The best part about this location? There’s a KISS PARTY at the pub that day from 3:30pm to 12:00am, and we can RSVP to it!
So far I know about the following people wanting to attend this event:
Ren
His wife?
Poppy
Dawg
Sparky/Rachel
B.E. Earl
Bella/Robin
Cissa?
Anyone else want to make the trip to Manhattan to see Ren and the Gang? Lemme know so I can get a head count. Please RSVP before 1 minute ago, or Friday, September 25, whichever you prefer.
And then in two weeks from then we can see each other again at Avitaween! How perfect is that?
Fuck, man.
I have an exciting announcement!
I’ll tell you what it is late Thursday or on Friday. :)
Bye!
