I’m surprised at myself for enjoying the new Old Navy mannequin ads so I figured I’d share them:
(more here)
… and then I found this mockumentary spoof of the E! True Hollywood Story:
The ads themselves are funnier, but someone in marketing is doing a good job for once.
Tangent: It amuses me when mannequins have high heels built into their feet.
Erin go topiary.
Have a good one!
Things that happened Friday through Sunday:
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Photos of the weekend are available in Dawg’s flickr stream, on his orange blog (a great story about a bakery photo shoot gone wonky), and on his photo blog over the next two weeks.
In other news, today is my niece’s birthday!
Yes, that’s me as a senior in high school holding her for the first time. If my math is correct she is 17 today. I am taken aback by how time flies…
On a final note, see you all at Talkshoe for tonight’s 10pm Eastern talkcast of Lick. Slam. Suck. The topic? TEQUILACON, sillies!
It has happened 3 times in the last 12 months, the most recent occurrence having been this week, that men I dated when I was much younger have contacted me to apologize for their hand in our relationship’s demise. They are not reaching out because they have any interest in gaining their way back into my heart and stealing me away from the man I will love for the rest of my life. They’re just at their own points in life where they are making mental inventories of their past, or they read my blog because someone told them about it *cough* and saw that I have a bitter, bitter outlook on our relationship.
The cold, honest truth is this: Once you break up with me… you are pretty much dead to me for a severely long time after. I don’t want you anywhere near me, I don’t want to talk to you, I won’t entertain the thought of a second chance, and any explanation you could even imagine giving me for why you broke up with me is inconsequential to my brain.
You know why, though?
It’s because I didn’t know how to have a relationship with you, things started going horribly wrong, I had no idea how to fix it or ask you to work with me to fix it, I didn’t think I was worth your time or thought process to work on the relationship with me, so I mentally checked out and you closed the deal of breaking things off with me. (And most of you did that by cheating on me. That’s not me being a whiny little bitch. Your action, no matter how justified you made it in your head, was the most awful thing you could have ever done to me and as a result I have since struggled with my self worth, struggled with wondering if I am ever enough for the person I’m with, struggled with not knowing how to handle if someone gives my man more attention than is comfortable and not assuming he has some reciprocated hand in the matter.)
So, thanks for that. (Bitter: CHECK!)
When I was 13 I broke up with my first boyfriend because I saw a glimpse of our future together and it terrified me. And it was such a horrible feeling that for the next 9 years I would subconsciously sabotaged each and every relationship rather than end it, which made guys break up with me. Then at age 22 I met Hay who I now refer to as The Ex and we did our best to have a great and effortless relationship. Unfortunately, we were so effortless about it that we never talked about the big stuff. Well, we kinda did. We managed to somehow agree we’d get married and have a house together, but beyond that we put no effort into maintaining our relationship. I kinda wanted to, but I was scared about how to approach it because I was scared that if I asked questions I’d stop being that cool girlfriend/wife who was just so nonchalant and easygoing and happy all the time, and instead be perceived as the nagging bitch who was only good for cooking meals and a lousy lay every once in a while, so I ended up turning into a psychotic mess who couldn’t bear another moment in that life of mine and ran far, far away from a situation I felt I could never correct even if we spent the rest of our lives trying.
I’m repeating that pattern. Of not talking about the big things that are on my mind. Of not checking in to see if things are “goosh” or need to be worked on, because I am scared to rock the boat. Of asking if my life plan (also referred to as “the future”) is anything that this guy I love with my full heart, and way more, wants as well. (And… what happens if we don’t want the same thing? What then?) And I know we talked about big things using a book that B had sent us to see how compatible we were on life issues before I made the big move to NYC. At that time we seemed pretty fucking compatible, but time has marched on and some of those questions are again on my mind because of things I’ve heard/read him say/write or not heard/read him say/write, and I go through my days with the thought of not knowing the answers humming in the back of my mind.
I sooooo hate the humming. It makes me crazy.
A few times lately I’ve almost dared to ask the most pressing question on my mind. Each and every time either I’ve chickened out or something has interrupted us. And, wouldn’t you know it? He doesn’t randomly ask me big questions. But I think a few things I’ve said around the internets might have tipped him off that I have questions on my mind. And Wednesday night at bedtime I did say to Dawg “I have a question for you” but unfortunately I was just wondering how many times in a row you can use your Metro card through the turnstyle if you are using a regular Metro card rather than the unlimited use per day card. He told me he wasn’t sure and then said “I thought you were gonna ask me a good question.” And I asked, “what’s a good question?” And he said, “I don’t know…” And rather than seizing that moment I just said I’d start asking him questions at bedtime from now on, knowing that I had no plan to ask my biggest question/s that night because it was too late and I knew that no matter how calmly I asked it, no matter how positively or negatively the conversation went, I would end up crying. And who wants to cry at midnight when you could be cuddled in your man’s arms, breathing in his scent, drifting off into dreamland, knowing things are very solid between you and him as long as you don’t ask those big questions?
Yup.
So.
*ramble ramble*
I don’t want to fuck this relationship up. I’m scared of doing exactly that. But it’s not fair to not ask what’s on my mind. And if I can’t ask what’s on my mind and have to worry about staying The Cool Girlfriend vs. a real woman with real feelings and fears and questions and wonders about the future (tomorrow, in 5 years, the golden years, eternity) then this will break too. But I want truthful answers, honest answers, answers I may not be ready to hear but need to hear. And the more I think it out the more it makes sense that even if I fuck everything up by asking what’s on my mind then that would mean it was likely to get fucked up anyway so what, exactly, am I waiting for?
Oh, for crying out loud. I sure hope my camera hurries up and arrives so that I can speak through images.
WOW, that was a long but effortlessly flying by hour and 45 minutes of Lick. Slam. Suck. thanks to BEERHER, the lovely Robin, and the immeasurably entertaining Adam Avitable. We hope you’ll make every effort to attend TequilaCon this year, and to pre-party with us at BEERHER the night before! Bring your bikinis and kegs!
I am up way past my bedtime. Happy Tuesday! And Happy Birthday to Brad!!!
Yes, there’s a show in 30 minutes! Please come join us for the newest episode of Lick. Slam. Suck. with a surprise topic, even to Dawg! (hehehe)
Summary of time: Today’s that crazy day where you set your clock an hour ahead for no reason. But not everywhere, just some places.
Summary of Watchmen: I saw a blue penis. Like, a lot of times. And the chick next to me whined a lot.
Summary of Borders: Newly acquired reads are I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley (compared to David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell, so 
) and The Knife Man: Blood, Body Snatching, and the Birth of Modern Surgery by Wendy Moore. Cannot wait to read those!
Summary of Five Guys Burgers and Fries: Really awesome bacon cheeseburger with ketchup, mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickle, grilled onions, and a sesame seed bun. The peanut-oil-cooked fries from Teton, I-da-hooooo were just a’ight. The fountain soda was awesome. But, dude, piece of advice: It’s actually not great marketing to tell me you were awesomely accoladed through 2007 but received absolutely no recognition for awesomeness in 2008. That just makes me think you are starting to suck.
Summary of taxes: The government has decided it owes me money based on the programmer’s recommendation to half the house sale amounts in Turbo Tax, since I obviously (really) didn’t get more than 50% of the profit from the house sale.
Summary of my wardrobe: I bought Mikey‘s frakin’ flakes shirt which Dawg took pictures of, and I got a ton of clothes from New York & Company on Sheila‘s advice, as well as a bunch of t-shirts from Snorg and Threadless. Also, today I wore my Mickey Mouse shirt for Lisa.
Summary of home life: I’m crazy. In other news, my mom and stepdad are coming next weekend! In other other news, Dawg really is the best boyfriend. And, I’m crazy. I should probably have that checked.
Summary of work life: Surveillance cameras were installed. Let’s just say we’re having way more fun catching people doing redonkulous things that aren’t intended to be captured… such as the receptionist giving such an abysmal tip to a delivery guy that he throws the money back at her.
Summary of subway life: I prefer the F train, and I prefer when Dawg drives me to the station where I can pick up said F train, but I still am fine with the J and the E.
Summary of NYC life: I pre-ordered the Canon PowerShot SX200IS 12 MP Digital Camera with 12x Wide Angle Optical Image Stabilized Zoom and 3.0-inch LCD in red because it is lightweight but high quality. Once I get it I will be taking waaaaaaay more shots on the way to and from work, in addition to weekend fun shots.
Summary of Vermont life: I have no flipping idea because no one returns my calls or my emails. Thanks, all. (No, Brother, I don’t mean you. But, hi, how are ya?)
Summary of the fridge: Lots of ice cream, lots of Texas toast, lots of Coke, lots of cheese. And ice. Lots of ice.
Later, -at(o/e)rs.
