little love notes
Dear E Train,
Go suck your own cock. And not in the pleasant way. I want you to suck it the teethy pus-filled sore way. Because that’s the best that you deserve. And I don’t just want, I insist.
Poppy does not love you.
The end.
Dear Audrina from The Hills,
Justin is a dirty scumbag. He’s only hanging around you so he can be on TV. I assure you he sucks the cock. That’s not a bad thing in any way whatsoever, other than the fact that you think he’s exclusive to you now which makes him a cheater and you a fool.
Kisses,
Poppy
Dear MTV,
Did you really think we wouldn’t notice this is your third time having “The Real World” in New York if you called it “The Real World: Brooklyn”?
You’re stupid,
Poppy
Dear Top Chef,
YAY TO YOU BEING IN NEW YORK I LOVE YOU I CAN’T WAIT TO MISTAKENLY RUN INTO PADMA AND TOM EVEN THOUGH THE BULK OF THE SHOW IS ALREADY TAPED.
Love love love,
~ Popstar
Wait…are you telling me that the Real World is still going on?
Huh.
I know, right? The only reason I know is because I’m addicted to watching those RW/RR Challenge shows and during the commercial break of the reunion show I saw a lame generalized ad for RW: Brooklyn.
*cough*
I always think of the E-Train as a lady. A skanky old whore of a lady that smells like a toilet and has bums riding her ass all night.
your first letter made me snort my alcoholic beverage out my nose. ouch.
mmmmmmmmmmmmm, i love me some tom from top chef. please hug him extra tight for me!
i like when sweet poppy goes all nasty letter writing poppy. care to write one to us air for me? i am hating them right now.
Creature, I stand by my statement. Let the train come for me. I have awesome defense skills.
Dave2, whether she’s a lady or not, she can go fellate herself.
Sara, I apologize for your pain, but the E deserves what I said.
Hola, I’m guessing Tom has a “No Touching the Tom” rule invoked. All airlines deserve a letter by default.
The E-Train is a cock sucker, isn’t he?
Loved this post! :P
I think you are in luck Top Chef-wise as Tom lives in NY… therefore your odds of running into him go up! Particularly if you dine at Craft or any of its siblings…
The Real World is still ON? I had no idea.
I am a firm believer that any train that is “blue” sucks. But the all time suckiest of suckiest is the C train.
Avoid it. It has chlamydia. Which hopefully it gives to the producer of Real World: Brooklyn.
It was fun meeting you, I’m sure I’ll see you next Halloween!