one night stands don’t always end badly
On the fateful day of June 12, 2005 the ECW held an entertainment event called One Night Stand. Veeeeery comfortable padded folding chairs were made for this event. Dawg happened to obtain one of said chairs to keep for his personal collection.
Fast forward to September 5, 2008 where Poppy has taken the 6.12.05 ECW One Night Stand chair to the apartment that she and Dawg now share together but haven’t quite moved into. Poppy is continuing to prep the apartment for their imminent arrival. The Clorox wipes Poppy is using to clean the apartment are almost used up so she takes the top off the canister to be able to pull the last of the wipes out which snagged at the small opening of the canister.
While holding the canister of wipes in one hand and one of the individual wipes in her other hand, and precariously balancing herself on said One Night Stand chair, Poppy catches a glimpse of a magazine cut-out on the top shelf of the linen closet she is wiping down. She leans over a bit to reach the cut-out, takes it down, and stares at it. It is a photo of Melina Kanakaredes who plays Detective Stella Bonasera on “CSI: NY”*. As Poppy considers that there might possibly be semen or other disgusting-to-touch boldily fluids on this photo, considering where she finds it, she suddenly hears a splashing sound.
She looks down to watch in horror as Clorox wipes fluid is pouring out of the canister onto the 6.12.05 ECW One Night Stand chair. And suddenly Poppy believes in God and begs, “oh please, oh please, don’t let the chair be ruined!!!!” She jumps down from the chair, throws down the canister, wipe, and photo in the bathroom sink, yanks the paper towels from underneath said sink, and quickly wipes down the chair. And magically the angels sing and birds chirp and sunshine fills the entire hall and nothing bad has happened to the chair, yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!, oh thank goodness Poppy doesn’t have to make one of those “I’m soooooo sorry, babe, but I did something bad” phone calls.
And then Poppy reads the canister: Bleach Free.
Those Clorox people are smart. 
*There was another magazine cut-out photo of a random blonde up on that shelf in the linen closet. We won’t be using that shelf.
I should have read the title closer…
.
I
You.
Aww - you guys are so damn cute.
Seriously, every time I think I have given up on finding love, I read your blog (or the Dawgs) and I realize there is still hope for me. Cheesy but true.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
yuck
ick
gross
really
just gross
Awwwwww….
Hahahahaha
That is really funny.
I’m glad it all turned out fine (minus the squicky pictures)!
It sounds like you need industrial strength HUMAN cleaning people to come clean this place out. OR HAZMAT.
I hope you are finished cleaning up soon and onto living!
my stomach hurt reading this. now that i know the awesome chair is fine i feel much better. yay for no bleach in those wipes. (now get out and get “bleach in the wipes” wipes so that you can clean that shelf!
That sounds exactly like something I would do. Ha ha. Great visual. I love it.
The Clorox wipe containers are a pain… the wipes snag on the plastic tabs designed to wring them out a little.
I break those plastic tab things off in the very beginning. Tired of hurting my fingers on them!
That shelf might need some of this:
http://www.softscrub.com/index.cfm?page_id=251
Works great on sinks too.
Hee hee at the title and YAY for no damage!
I don’t think the shelf would be your worst concern.
I am glad for now damage to chair… for the weird shelf in the linen closet I would spritz with bleach.
They might be bleach free but they still burn like hell when you wipe your ass with them!
Bleach-free Clorox?
What will they think of next? Meatless burgers? Fat-free cookies? Caffeine-free soda? Non-alcohol beer? Non-Experienced Presidential candidates?
Non-experienced VP candidates?
Dawg, BOO! *giggle*
You too.
Robin, it took me the longest time to figure out exactly what you thought was so adorable about this post, then I realized you meant Dawg’s comment. Heh. There is always hope. And it arrives when you least expect it, if you let it.
Mattie, *giggle* You’re so adorable when you’re skeeved out!
Sybil, those stupid photos attempted to alter space and time, but luckily Clorox had my back.
Lisa, the only shelves I never got a chance to clean were the very top shelves of the His and Hers closets and the linen closets. Guess where Georgie’s new hiding spot is?
Hola, problem is, I can’t reach it. I could barely reach it to grab what I found on the very edge, but that’s as far as I can reach, and I’m NOT sending Dawg up there to clean it. Who knows what he’ll find?!??!
DLil, every time you leave me a comment I get all giddy that you’re back. I’m glad we are twins in cleaning adventures.
DeppFan, I do have the Soft Scrub stuff, just can’t reach the shelf to properly clean it.
Turn, I thought that title was pretty darn clever. Freaked the shit out of Dawg, but … eh, he got over it.
He knows I’m a good girl.
Maman, if I could guarantee that the girls would never go on it I would do that. Since I can’t reach it to wipe it down after the bleach would stay there…
Avi, I wipe my ass with the adult wipes, maybe you should invest in some.
Wah, let us hope they never make a dork-free whall.
DeppFan,
