Borrowing from Neil, I will start off by saying that this is 10% dramatization, 90% truth. I’ll let you figure out which 10% isn’t quite the truth.
The scene: Poppy’s brother has forced her to have birthday lunch with him and Poppy’s dad. Poppy arrives and is asked how life is going. Poppy mentions that she got a raise (which she did) and got a security certification (which she did). And then conversation turns to The Future:
Dad: You have any news?
Because me getting a raise and a security certification is not news to my dad, apparently.
Poppy: I’ll be unemployed and homeless at the end of the month!
Dad: *mouth agape*
Poppy: Yup, it’ll be great! *smile*
Dad: *mouth agape*
Poppy: I’m really excited about it!
Dad: Are you serious?
Poppy: Yes!
Dad: What’s your goal?
Poppy: *blank stare*
Dad: What’s your goal in New York?
Big Brother: (coming to my rescue) To be happy.
Poppy: Yes, that!
Dad: So, you’re not going to work?
Poppy and Big Brother: *blank stare*
Poppy: Yes, that’s exactly why I just told you that I got a raise and a certification, because I plan to sit at home.
Dad: I mean, to take care of children.
Poppy: I have a career! I don’t have children!
Dad: But, when you do, you’re staying home…?
Allow me to clarify: I am not With Child. This conversation is completely random. But apparently my only goal that is acceptable to my father is if I have babies he won’t ever see because he won’t ever come to New York City (his words, not mine). Apparently me having a really kickass information security career is out of his comfort zone. Apparently I am supposed to be home barefoot and pregnant.
Poppy: No, Dad. I’m the meal ticket! Dawg’s following me wherever my career takes me!
Dad: But, you’re staying home with the kids, right?
Big Brother: (under his breath) Just give up. Just say yes. Make him stop.
Poppy: Yes. I’m staying home to take care of 10 babies. Better?
Dad: Yes, all better.
Poppy: Glad I could please you. Hate to break up the party, but I hafta go resign now.
End scene.
July 16th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Is 10 babies anything like 12 monkeys, because that had some futuristic stuff in it too.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:57 am
So you’re telling us you’re pregnant then?
July 16th, 2008 at 2:41 am
I am glad I am not the only one with daddy issues lately….aren’t they great? ::snark::
July 16th, 2008 at 3:16 am
When you’re staying at home with your ten babies, can I come over for a playdate with my kids?
July 16th, 2008 at 3:23 am
Ugh….look at me being like your dad ignoring the good news and focusing on the babies, lol. Sorry! A HUGE congrats on the raise and security certification. (But you resigned right? I’m a little confused, but what else is new?
)
July 16th, 2008 at 3:23 am
I do not think that I like your father. In fact, I’m pretty sure that there’s goood reason to dislike him quite a bit.
July 16th, 2008 at 6:47 am
Poppy is having 10 babies. They are gonna have strange names. kids 5 & 8 thier names aren’t gonna have any vowels.
kids 2, 4 & 10, are twins, and gender confused.
Man, that’s some issues going on.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Will you name the first baby “Brad”? I think that would be cool. Boy OR girl.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Only 10?
July 16th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Oh shit. Today’s Wednesday.
Yesterday was Poppy’s resignation day!!
How did it go??
July 16th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Ok, so there’s Pwnie, Grr…oh shit. Just call them, “Hey, kid.” I can’t even keep my own kids straight, and there’s only two of them. (Well three if you count the husband.)
July 16th, 2008 at 11:09 am
So Dawg’s gonna be a housewife?
July 16th, 2008 at 11:41 am
You’re too pretty to just have 10 babies. The world needs way more than just 10 poppies and puppies.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
wait a minute, didn’t someone have a bad belly all weekend? yeah! Poppy baby!!!!
July 16th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
So you are quitting? Good for you. Don’t lock the network and swallow the key on the way out.
This is what I always do when I quit an infosec job. Go to your boss and announce that you are now a security threat and demand to be escorted off the property. No two weeks notice- if something goes wrong on the network, they like to blame the short timers.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Am I reading the same post (almost) everyone else is?
The point is my dad thinks all I’m good for is babies. In case you didn’t know, that’s an insult to me.
I love babies, but family planning is a major decision between *two* people and I think it’s major decision enough for now that I’m leaving my entire life-as-I-know-it behind to go live and work in a big city. When/if it is time for babies I’ll work on thinking through the decisions surrounding them.
Britt, it went very smoothly, like it was just another day at the office.
Pat, I *am* a security threat, I’m leaving! As soon as they know the security person is walking out the door they should be taking steps to secure systems. Maybe I should drop them my resume as a $250/hour consultant.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Aww, Poppy, I’m sorry if my comment came off as not caring about that. It did pain me to read what he said to you, and I’m sorry he treated you that way.
I think, because we all know that you’re WAY more good than for just having babies, we were just trying to cheer you up and joke around with you. I was at least.
In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t. I’m sorry.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
YES! I’m reading your post!
You want to have 10 babies.
Got it.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I’m sorry – I don’t know why I am feeling the need to screw with you all around the Internet today. Heh.
Come here and let me hug you.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
LOL I like Wayne’s comment. I would imagine 10 babies is very much like 12 howler monkees. hehehe
Anyway, don’t get annoyed at your dad, get even! I’m not sure how yet but I’ll think of something….. Oh, nevermind, it’s probably not worth it & we KNOW you have better things to do & more important things to worry about.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
BB, don’t worry about it. I just needed to be understood.
Britt, you are evil. I am totally breaking up with you.
hehehehe!
Ok, fine, hug accepted, since I stole it from you anyway.
Sour, it’s true, much more important things to worry about, such as when the hell I’m gonna get to watch the rest of An Evening With Kevin Smith! Hopefully tonight.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Congrats, Poppy!!!
It is WAY exciting to start a totally new life (kinda) somewhere else!
Also, 10 babies? I thought your favorite number was 4!
Haha
I’m teasing. That conversation with your dad was insane. I’m glad your brother was there to help you out.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
My brother is awesome.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
But you already knew he was a jerk, right?
So that’s why we’re screwing with you – you gotta smile sometime in spite of his crap.
I actually had a doctor (my back surgeon in fact) that was the same way. I can’t say it hasn’t haunted me – those words. But you gotta rise above it and consider the source.
And then go have some vodka. And chocolate.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
When I was pregnant & getting married, my parents bought me stuff for my college dorm (that I wasn’t going to). I feel for ya’…
The good news? Tell your dad you’re TRYING for 10 kids ’cause the sex is AWESOME. That should shut him up, shouldn’t it?
July 17th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Just because your Dad is acting liking a 1930′s turd doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t dream of Poppy babies…sigh. Someone needs to have a baby and it sure as hell ain’t gonna be me!
July 17th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Besides we know you can do anything you want to do
July 18th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I fail to see the problem with your dad’s perspective.
On an unrelated side note, it is 1957, right?
I agree with Tug (above)– that would be a great retort and way to end the conversation immediately.
July 20th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I think pregnant is going to look great on you. And I hope you’re naming one of the brood after me.