Mikey, zomg yuck. Feet AND vomit? ARGH!

B, some day Kino will get his just desserts. And some day THE SCARS ON MY LEG WILL GO AWAY. It *still* hurts if I touch where I got attacked. (But, um, actually, I think it was BlackJack who delivered those ones, and Kino just left me the ones on my foot.) Evil kittehs, I tell you. (Hi sweet Menchi and sweet Joey, I love you!!!!!)

Maman, I don’t mind cleaning up after the girls, actually. But the slick poop looking substance I could have done without.

Kyra, the shoestring story makes me very, very sad.

B.E.E., (bzzt) I actually prefer to do that as well, which is why my ex took over cleaning up the vomit. Now that I live elsewhere I continue the trend of letting the vomit dry first. Much easier to clean up.

Justine, that is some serious talent!

Sour, I thought of you while I was cleaning her tail. I picked Georgie up, which is the first no-no in Georgie’s world. I then made her stand still when she didn’t wanna, which is the second no-no, and then I used Cotonelle wipes to clean up her tail by running them up and down her tail thus ruffling her tail fur, a third no-no in Georgie’s world. I then used a wet towel to get the Cotonelle residue off her tail, a fourth no-no. I then fixed her tail fur with my hand and gave her kisses then let her go. I spoke sweetly and with a soothing voice the entire time I held her in place and violated her tail fur, but that just doesn’t make up for the no-nos.

Kyra, NO MORE DEAD STORIES. Only funny/happier ending stories. ACK!

Sybil, awesome! And my cats’ breath smells like cat food as well.

Due to Licorice’s droopy ears, he got an ear infection and so my mother stupidly rubber banded his ears together to keep them from flopping over. She thought that allowing the fresh air to get in there would help keep the dry and healthy.

Ultimately, in a little over an hours time, she had accidentally cut the circulation off in the dog’s ears and this caused an even greater infection that spread to his brain and killed him.

She has no business owning pets. Also she is a registered nurse.

And she now owns a schnauzer named Greta.

One good deed my mother did though in relations to animals was that she performed surgery on a duck in our backyard to save it’s life. We lived on a lake and there were shitloads of ducks. One day someone was screaming like mad because there was a duck down at the lake who had swallowed a fishhook that was not partially protruding from it’s pouch. The duck was freaking out and my mother went down there calmer than shit, numbed the area, made a small incision, removed the hook and sewed the thing back up.

The duck lived a long and happy life until an owl swooped down one day and ate him. Which had NOTHING to do with my mother.

Cat tails get in the most ridiculous places. It drives me nuts but, as a cat-mom, we just learn to deal with it. That said, you had one seriously sticky mess on your hands there.

I would have liked to have seen footage of you actually giving her tail a bath because the mistrust I saw in her eyes when you reached to pet her was palpable.

I like how she quickly gave that up in favour of licking your fingers, though… and then was meticulous about re-cleaning her tasty tail while you dealt with your page.

You & your kitties are so much fun!

I arrived home one day to my niece (who is my sitter) looking a bit disgusted. She proceeds to tell me that when she went to get my daughter from her nap (at the time she was about 15 months old), she walked in to discover that her crib was covered in poo. Apparently, my crafty daughter figured out how to unsnap her adorable little summer onesie, take off her diaper, and smear the poop all over her crib. But just the crib! Not herself, not the sheets, not the stuffed animals, not her lovies, and not the wall. Just her crib. Talented, eh?

I’ve since corrected her of that habit.

When I was fifteen we had a cat who likes to chew on the strings that are in sweatpants and shit. One day, we saw the cat go streaking past with about 14 inches of shoestring hanging out of it’s ass. My mom chased the cat around the house knowing that she had eaten the string out of my brothers pants and was now digesting it. She couldn’t catch the cat.

Finally, it streaked past and my mom took a shot and stomped down on the string. Problem was… the string was not fully digested and was intertwined in the cat’s intestines. The string came out… along with the inside of the cat.

Splat.

My mom was horrified.