After all the internet talk about bacon I broke down and had maple cured kissed bacon yesterday. It was the most delicious fucking bacon I’ve had in my entire life. I had it as a side to chicken alfredo. I rock.

I got my hair did yesterday. It’s super dark. I love it super dark. My stylist tries to get me to have my eyebrows done as well since they’re pretty much albino eyebrows, but the color fades within two days so it’s really not worth it. Better to just make sure my glasses are pushed up on my nose so that my brows are pretty much covered.

Being a product prophet is a lot harder than I thought, unless it’s prophesizing about iced venti Americanos. I converted one non-believer yesterday. My goal by the end of the week is to convert the state country of France. Of course this means many people will end up in the ER thinking they’re having heart attacks, but that’s a bonus in my book!

Dawg finally suffered a massive blow in The War of Dogs and Cats. Or, ok, his dad did. Oops.

PS - Apparently Georgie was wrong — there is always room for Jell-O.

But now I have no place to put my plates.