Monday morning I drove to the next country over and hung out with friends I’ve known for years plus some brand-spanking-new-to-me friends. We ate two days’ worth of food in about 8 hours, drank 4 days’ worth of alcohol in about 4 hours, and some of us went to Wal-Mart to get the movie version of Scene-It after doing shots of Tullamore Dew. I enjoy drunk visits to public places so I was one of the Wal-Marters. While there I spent the majority of the time talking WAY too loudly, staring at birds flying around the camping section, and texting people back home that all the people that were with me at Wal-Mart wished them a happy new year. This, my friends and fellow bloggers, is the way that I like to ring in the new year. We did a champagne toast after the ball dropped, but since this was a single-but-not-looking party there was no hugging or kissing or fondling or marriage proposals, it was just us giggling and having a great time and me yelling “SCREW BEAR!” when I saw the barbed wire, bear, and woodshop panels for “guess the movie” (real answer [duh]: Barber Shop). For the rest of the night when people had no effing clue what the movie was they would proclaim “SCREW BEAR!” at the top of their lungs, and hence a tradition is born.
Team Screw Bear (yes, we’re just one big team, with no opponents)
I stayed over and attempted to beat a blizzard on the way home, but got caught in said blizzard. I could have stayed with my hosts another night, but the thought of seeing my kittos made me press on. Six hours to travel what should have taken me three and witnessing several very scary looking after-accidents, I arrived home safely to the girls giving me their “where’s my treat?!” look. Ahhh, great to be home.
As soon as I took care of the kittos I realized I was, in fact, still sick with this fuckingassofacold that has been residing in me since Christmas eve, so I ate some rice and drank some water then fell asleep watching Gladiator (that Russell Crowe is a big plate of yummy-yummy).
I hope you all did have a great and safe new year. I will get to comments in a bit. For now I am home sick, trying to kick the last of this cold so I can rock the house when I go back to work tomorrow. Time for more rice and water and kitty cuddles. 
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I seriously wish I could be as cool as you.
Feel better soon, k?
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I do not approve of alcohol.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I do approve of alcohol. In fact, I’m jealous, I wish I could have drank more. I’m glad you had fun, it looks like a blast
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Mel, you are as cool as I am. What’re you talking about?!
Creature, I know you didn’t mean to make me giggle but you did. I think you have a macro for that statement. You hit Shift-F8 and it just types out “I do not approve of alcohol.” for you.
Amanda, I didn’t get head-drunk, so I didn’t do anything really stupid like have unprotected sex with Wal-Mart patrons, but it was definitely a blast.
Hope you’re feeling better!!!!
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
If I didn’t type it out myself, it would have less meaning. I do not settle for less than the full weight of the statement.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:10 pm
As long as you realize that you saying it won’t stop me from drinking then feel free to keep typing it out. If I said I do not approve of peanuts would you stop eating them and letting elephants leave them on your toilet?
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Peanuts aren’t poison.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Anything is poison if consumed in excess. Even water.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Please on’t pretend to be so unreasonable that you wouldn’t know that this is a silly comparision in dozens of ways.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I do not need to pretend.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I’ll retreat now. I don’t intend to piss people off pointlessly.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I don’t like being told what I can and cannot consume. It’s something that pushes my buttons. Actually, I kinda don’t like being told what I can and cannot do, period. I’m way too free spirited for that. Not your fault you got caught in the middle of something that pushes my buttons.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:06 pm
technically, peanuts are poison to lots of people
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Amanda, good point! But not me, in regular doses.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Alcohol makes me happy. Poppy makes me happy.
That’s all I have to say.
Long live Screw Bear!
I guess I had a little bit more to say.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Thank you, Fab.
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
i love rice.
oh AND I REALLY LOVE YOU.
oh, and i laughed at “we’re one big team with no opponents”
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Rice is awesome… but you are awesomer.
I am so glad you enjoyed the team caption, because every time I read it I start laughing too. I sometimes am surprised by what amusing nuggets of comedy are swirling around in my head.
(Sigh. Apparently I shouldn’t comment when still sick.)
January 2nd, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I’m all for alcohol. I’m all for peanuts. I’m all for drinking alcohol and eating peanuts while watching Team Screw Bear go shopping.
Where can I get an official team jersey and big foamy finger?
January 2nd, 2008 at 6:42 pm
January 2nd, 2008 at 6:48 pm
You can always just do a logo… you know… a bear screwing a shopping cart or something. Your creative and artsy dammit! Do something!
I’ll even wear it for TWO episodes of CW…
January 2nd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
What about a bear holding a screw while riding in a shopping cart?
January 2nd, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Yes… yes… a bear… holding a long screw like a lance… riding in a shopping cart… in the crouched position… like he’s jousting… with like… a bucket on his head or something… yes… yes… awesome… when can I expect to see the first draft?
January 2nd, 2008 at 6:58 pm
I’m not sure, I can’t draw.
But that is brilliant.
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:00 pm
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Drunk is the only way to wander around a Wal-Mart, so hat’s off to you. Oh, and Happy New Year!
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Dawg, I thought of someone at work after I clicked SUBMIT. Will ask him tomorrow.
Mr. Funk, I did very much enjoy wandering around it drunk. I gave a very big smile to the greeter who was NOT smiling until she saw me smiling and then she smiled.
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:16 pm
PS – I can totally picture this bear in a shopping cart thing in my head and I am very excited about it.
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Can I be the official #1 fan???
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Yes, you will be the Team Screw Bear adoring fan club president.
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:33 pm
I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF SCREW BEAR – I’M JEALOUS.
Course my nephew answered the questions so fast I didn’t have a chance to THINK.
That may have been the alcohol I consumed…
HAPPY HAPPY!!!
P.S….I want a foam finger & t-shirt puleeeeeeeeze
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Poppy drunk-texting from Wal-Mart at midnight? I can’t decide if this means I should give you my cell phone number or I should be glad you don’t have it…
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:39 am
Tug, when (if) foam fingers and t-shirts are in existence I will be sure to let you know. Alcohol makes me answer quicker, just the wrong answer.
Stef, only good things come of my drunk texting. (Ok, that’s probably a lie, since only two people seem to have appreciated getting my text at 11:somethingPM. … ahem.)
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
who took the picture? or was it a timed thing?
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:37 pm
The mademoiselle to my left turned on the timer then ran back to the couch and flopped down, which is why I am squooooshed. She is one of the new-to-me-friends, but she rocks.
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Yeah, I know I am late, but I first had to sleep off the NYE hangover…
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
DB, I’m so glad you’re finally feeling better!!! HNY!!!
January 4th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Happy New Year, Poppy. Live for laughter and may your thoughts be carbonated.
January 4th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
HNY, Dan! I’m still drafting a laundromat post for you.
January 6th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I meant to ask – are you guys doing jazz hands?!
January 6th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
*giggle* We are, in fact, doing jazz hands! It was the requested pose.